Closed Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8
-
Something I wrote forever ago. (possible TW)
I called it "Fade" back when I wrote it. I was in 5th grade at the time and the counselor called me down to the office almost immediately to talk about my "feelings." (You know how schools are.) It was then that I learned never to show emotions to people who are supposed to act like they care...
Beauty is the sharpest pin,
She could not see herself grow thin
The months passed by, swift as hours
She wilted fast, our dying flower…
And "perfect" is the cruelest knife
But laughter is what took her life.
Anyhow, it's not very good, I suppose. I was ten when I wrote it. All I knew about eating disorders at the time was what I learned from my mother at age 9, after my neighbour died of the complications of one. It's creepy, though. It was kinda personal at the time, but not in the way that it is now...
-
Hiya TRS!
I apologize for replying so late to this--I saw it the other day and wanted to say something so badly, but I was all caught up with things. First off, I just want to say that this piece is admirable, for any age, but the fact that you penned it at the wee age of ten really shows your potential, not to mention verve and depth of feeling.
I don't think the schools should have judged you writing something so profound and deeply felt, they ought to have applauded you for it and encouraged your creativity imho.
There is simplicity in your style, but your skillful use of metaphors and the way in which your convey your feelings painting brilliant visual word pictures makes this poem noteworthy.
Keep writing!Lady Persephone
I can almost see him now before me. What would I say to him, if he were really here? Forgive me, I’ve never known this feeling. I’ve lived without it all my life. Is it any wonder then I fail to recognize you? You brought it to me for the first time. Is there anyway that I can tell you how my life has changed. Anyway at all, to let you know what sweetness you have given me. There is so much to say and I can’t find the words except for these: I love you. - from Somewhere in Time
-
05-30-2012 #3
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Location
- my home
- Posts
- 828
I loved the poem! Thanks for sharing
-
05-30-2012 #4
- Join Date
- Jul 2011
- Location
- Perth Australia
- Posts
- 2,813
WOW. Thats amazing. can't believe you wrote it at ten years old! Keep writing i say, you have the knack for it. x
Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, "It might have been.”
― Kurt Vonnegut
-
Thanks guys! And, yep, I was a deep, dark little 5th grader. But I was pretty creative!
-
06-01-2012 #6
- Join Date
- May 2012
- Posts
- 230
I like this poem, and I don't even like poetry in general. I would say to keep writing, if you aren't already
Starry-eyed and laughing as I recall when we were caught
Trapped by no track of hours for they hanged suspended
As we listened one last time an' we watched with one last look
Spellbound an' swallowed 'til the tolling ended
Tolling for the aching ones whose wounds cannot be nursed
For the countless confused, accused, misused, strung-out ones and worse
And for every hung-up person in the whole wide universe
And we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.
-
I can't believe you wrote this at ten, it's incredible. I'd be proud to have written that at 23!!
-
I like that poem! Keep writing- anyone who could write that can definitely make more wonderful poems!
Tags for this Thread
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
Register | Terms of Use / Rules*** | Disclaimer | Site Usage Info | FAQ's
Copyright © 2004 - 2012 WhyEat.net