3 weeks of constant B/P has made me gain 4kg! I thought I was invincible, that I would never gain weight because i've been able to maintain for so long...but it's finally catching up with me, and its devastating. Today, after another day of binging and purging, I looked at my swallon face in the mirror and was absolutely disgusted in what I saw. Before I had bulimia, I suffered from "ENDOS"...I restricted and excerised non stop, was underweight and looked sick. Now I don't exercise at all and spend my nights binging and purging. My house is a complete and utter mess, its disgusting and dirty. the carpet in my room has food through it and my kitchen stinks. What have a let myself become? I am so ashamed. I finally think that I am beginning to see what damage I am doing. its a giant eye opener, and I just hope that I feel the same way when I wake up in the morning. I hate the fact that i have gained weight, and I feel so uncomfortable in how I look at the moment, but maybe its the wake up call I needed?