Please help me

[Caged_songbird]

Please tell me it's going to be okay. Please tell me that I can manage to keep something down apart from red bull. I'm shaking so hard right now.

[unsure]

I'm sure you will be ok, sounds like you really need 2 see a doctor asap, I'm not surprised your shaking so much if all your keeping down is red bull. Please go get help now, before things get worse x

[Caged_songbird]

Thank you. You're the only one who cares. I've just binged and am about to purge. No one around me realises that I'm very ill. Even now I just got yelled at for ditching responsibilities. I hope I can collapse during the purge so that they see I'm ill and not just disobedient by B/P.

[jemjem]

i promise things will get better,
try eating somdthing nutrious like a little butternut squash or egg whites to curb the shakes and stop the urge to b/p

[unsure]

I'm so sorry you feel unsupported, please do try and ask for help, I don't want you collapsing, you deserve better than that x

[Portia]

You WILL get through this.
Do not put yourself down because you ditch responsibilities. You have a serious illness and it demands a lot of energy. The fact that other people can't see it just makes it worse.

Just remember that you're doing ok, considering you have an ed. Do not compare yourself to people who don't.

Hang in there. <3

[haifisch]

You can do this. You can eat. You can eat and not binge, you can just eat and feel better. You are worth it, you deserve it.

[Caged_songbird]

Thank you so so much for your replies; you don’t know how much they mean to me. I have kept some salty food down today, so I’m feeling better. I’m not in a good place emotionally right now and I have all these inescapable responsilities being heaped upon me and my mother is treating me like my eating disorder is my fault and choice. She barged out of the house yesterday as I purged and called my father who said that I thought I stopped and really thinks that I can be talked out of purging because apparently I can be talked out of a mental illness. I almost wish I was inpatient because my environment is so toxic and I keep going into B/P-fast cycles. I don’t know how much more I can take here.

[Portia]

Eating salty food was probably a good idea. Maybe you could eat a banana or honeydew melon? That would be could for your potassium levels.

Now I don't know how old you are or what your situation is like, but moving out has helped me a lot. It reduces the tension/anxiety you constantly have because you need to worry about other people, and their habits as well as your eating disorder.

What you are feeling right now is only temporary. Horrible, malicious situations don't last forever. Wish you all the best.

[SorrowfulWhisper]

I hope you are feeling a bit better. You can do it, you can get better.

It seems your parents do not understand what it means to have an ed, but here we do. And the fact that yesterday you kept something down is a great achievement. You have to be proud of yourself. Remember, baby steps.

Take care, things WILL gett better xx