Not alone anymore

[nicky21]

I finally told my mom that I’ve been starving and purging and that I want support and help. I tried not to tell her sooner because I have put her through enough for the past two years because of major depression, but I couldn’t handle it anymore. It hasn’t been a long time since this began, so I didn’t think it was too serious, but I tried to stop several times and couldn’t. So I thought I should tell someone, while there was still time.

She was – as always – very supportive and understanding, I feel guilty. But I am also kind of relieved.

Anyway, thank you for this support forum!
I hope you're having a nice day

[Girlinterruptedallthetime]

That is such a big step.... Way to go!!!!

You say that she was very supportive and understanding........ what does that mean??? Is she going to help you to get support and help that you need? What is going to happen now that she knows?

I am glad that you have some support now... that is always a great thing!!!!

[nicky21]

Thank you for your kind words!

Well, I didn't tell her right away, I have a habit of giving just a few hints at a time because I'm a chicken lol Something like this:
"I have something to tell you, I need help eating healthier meals, I haven't been eating normally lately, I've been doing something to my body and not a good thing etc" She asked me if I was anorexic, or if I was taking diet pills or even drugs. After 20 minutes or so I started crying, then she started crying and asked me if I was making myself throw up and I said yes.

We've talked some more and she understood my motives and said that she will do anything to help me stop purging, she also said that if I felt like it, I should talk to a therapist. We've always had a very close relationship and I can talk about anything with my mother, but I was afraid this time because I felt so ashamed.

I live in Romania and over here it's not like in other countries, so we don't really have ed clinics and such. But that won't be a problem, I promised myself to get better

The good part is, now that it's the exams month at my college (no classes, just exams) I've been staying at home with my mother and her husband and it was easier to reach out to them and stop hiding. I normally live alone, in the same city where I go to college (30 miles away, very close to my family).

Anyway, I managed to eat breakfast and lunch today without throwing up, which is huge for me. All in all, I feel pretty good