First OA Meeting Tonight

[The Bright Side]

***I started posting this in the Recovery forum but as I went on I realized it was a bad place to post this***

I don't even know what to say here. I'm excited but nervous.

Tomorrow morning I meet with my counselor again. You know, she seems so grounded, so together. I want to be her lol. I sit there in awe of her sometimes. How she carries herself. She's so confident, well-spoken. I want that. I want to be that.

Fuck I just want to be happy.

Point of this thread? I really don't know. LOL. I'm just typing as I think.

I do hope that I have a better day today in terms of my emotions. I don't want to feel dead today. Yesterday was my day off (I work hard 6 days a week) and the whole time I was just dead inside. It made it so hard to enjoy time with my daughter. And she's such a sweet little thing. She definitely doesn't deserve the shit that she experiences indirectly from my hurts. Today I'll just have to make things extra worthwhile for her. Maybe we can go for a walk together and enjoy the beautiful view we have up the hill. Collect some nature stuff for a craft. I don't know. Just being with her will be enough I suppose. Maybe we'll have another tea party today.

[iwant2recover]

lol I feel the same way about my counsellor. I wish I could just be her. Her life seems so easy.
I hope you have a wonderful day with your daughter

[iwant2recover]

Also, I'm curious to know what you thought of OA. I've been to 2 meetings, but I wasn't very impressed. I have been told that I just need to keep trying new meetings with new people. Did you like it?

[The Bright Side]

Haven't been yet...another 8 hours away. I need something that's for sure. I can't seem to stop this crap.

[The Bright Side]

Also, I'm curious to know what you thought of OA. I've been to 2 meetings, but I wasn't very impressed. I have been told that I just need to keep trying new meetings with new people. Did you like it?

I belong there.