Wrong Again!!

[The Bright Side]

Dialogue with my soon to be six year old after a very shitty day of low feelings.

Me: I'm so sorry. I'll try to be better tomorrow
K: what did you do wrong mommy?
Me: I'm just not a good mommy sometimes and you don't deserve what you get sometimes
K: I think you're the best mommy!
Me: I don't think so.

She then got up to hug me from above as I was sitting on the floor during our tea party. She started to say it again but I changed the subject unintentionally because her cat was in the window wanting in.

Me: look who wants in

She stopped and looked came back to me and said

K: mommy you are the best mommy in the whole world and if you don't think so I think you are wrong.

The first time in my life that I was happy to be wrong.

I don't deserve her.

[The Bright Side]

Crap I forgot to say that she said she would let the cat on later before she came back to finish telling me. She demonstrated how important I am to her. Why can't that make me feel like the world is a fantastic place??

[stories]

This is really sweet of her. Maybe it can just be one person who makes everything seem okay or that things are going to be okay.

I did this a little while ago. I wrote a list of the pros and cons of having an eating disorder, depression, etc. The advantages list grew longer than the disadvantages. But after writing it all, the first thing on my "con" list is that it hurts others around me, specifically my two brothers. And that enough was it for me. I saw that quality over the quantity.

You daughter seems to be that for you.

I am glad you had this moment with her and hope things start/keep looking up.