My Progress...should I move forward?

[The Bright Side]

I seem to be a lot more stable now. At least it feels that way. I'm eating regularly. I do eat too much, but I think that is to be expected this early in the game. The important thing is that the binges and the fasting have stopped. The urge is there and luckily I have some friends on here who have been helping me to fight that. Commitment is a bitch lol...

Anyway, on the eating too much topic, I eat regularly and keep eating sometimes when I shouldn't keep going. I don't consider it binging but it falls in line with my not wanting to stop. But at least I do before it gets out of hand. I'm not ready to completely cut down yet (sorry M, it will come)...anyway, my next step is regular exercise and more vegetables.

I haven't been exercising regularly, not since the summer when I was completely doing stupid things to my body - to a level I hadn't since I was a teen, at least knowingly anyway. God does that sentence even make sense?

I think I'm ready to start exercising. But, there is a HUGE BUT on this one...I tend to go all out, do too much, it's in my nature. I know this about myself. I wasn't planning on doing anything new until I was at the 3-6 week point of being stable and I think it's only been 1.5 or so?

I'm going to my first Overeaters Anonymous meeting tomorrow night. Maybe that's enough of a next step to take? I don't know. It's confusing me. I don't want to start going all out because that usually backfires on me in the end.

The great thing is that my weight hasn't changed. So I'm probably just doing the same to my body more regularly rather than starving and replacing. So that's good. I thought I was going up...but it's probably that same thing we go through at the different points of our cycles, ED or not...food weight, water weight etc.

If I keep up with my eating and fighting the binge urges maybe I can get to a healthy weight once again. But I'm concerned that this is my ED thoughts kicking in. That part of my brain is fighting with all it's got!

Maybe I'll just start exercising and just make it a one mile run and that's it. Cap it off and that's the rule. If I want to do anything else it would be yoga, just to get my body feeling good and use it for the peace it gives me.

Any insights?

[weightlessrunner]

From experience, an eating disordered mind never goes oh I'll just cap it at X amount and it'll be ok. Really, you know this surely. I think yoga is a good idea though as it is more relaxing and encourages the connection between the mind and the body.

Don't try for too much. It is just setting yourself up for failure.

[InternalDialogue]

I'd say baby steps are usually the way to go. Do you think you can try to hold off on changing things up too much until after you've attended an OA meeting or two? I think going to a meeting is definitely a good next step and attending a couple of them could help you some with what to do next.

[The Bright Side]

Yes I agree with both of you which is why I was getting so concerned. I'm probably doing enough for now. I have this thing where I always want to exceed what I set out to do. There's a lot of good in that when it comes to careers and stuff like that, and I've performed well in the past because of that but it's a problem in my personal life.