Body image and sex...

[Emily_xX]

Recently I've realised that my paranoia about my body is so bad that I'm afraid of any sexual relationships because I don't want my body seen or touched. For example, a few days ago I made out with a guy and we were going to go further but I couldn't - all I could think about was how huge I was and what he'd think (even though I know he thinks I'm very thin).

Does anyone else have a similar experience with this? How do I change it? I don't want this to ruin my relationships...

[KoH.]

You have to really try hard to feel comfortable in your body. It's a beautiful thing whatever shape or size. I'm pretty sure that men find any feminine shape beautiful too. The more confident you are about yourself, the better!

[LosingMyself]

I have a very similar experience like this. I've been in a long term relationship with a wonderful man for a couple years now, and we struggle with physical closeness, intimacy and sex quite often, because of myself and my body issues.

Sometimes I will go through a few great months where sex and intimacy to me means burning calories so I let myself go and have a wild time, other months(like the horrible streak I'm stuck in now) as soon as we start getting physical I break down. During those times, I spend all the time we're trying to have sex looking at my body, afraid that the angle I'm on will make me look huge, afraid that my skin will pudge out, or that he will grab handfuls of fat. If his hand touches my stomach or my thighs it can send me into a downward spiral and will ruin the night very quickly. I know all of this is ridiculous because he also thinks that I am very thin.

I've recently realized though that as much as I may hate my body, and as much as I punish myself in so many different ways on a daily basis, it's not fair of me to punish him. He has needs too, and he's been so amazing to deal with me so far.

Something that has actually been a great help to me was going out and buying myself a few pieces of lingerie. I've got a couple lacy corset/baby doll pieces with matching underwear, and sometimes I'll wear thigh high stockings with them. Not only will you feel attractive, you will also be partially dressed! This helps me because I'm not constantly worrying about how my naked body looks, and it's not like he minds if I wear lingerie :P From what I hear from my guy friends, lingerie is meant to be left on while you get down and dirty so it works well for helping you stay covered and still sexy.