First day of therapy and really hating this feeling right now....

[sparkleandfade]

So I just got out of my first day of therapy and I thought that it would feel good to get things off of my chest but now I just feel absolutely horrible and terrified that the therapist will tell my parents or call authorities/hospitals because I mentioned that I cut. I am SERIOUSLY freaking out. The lady was so awkward too, I laughed at one point cause I felt uncomfortable and she glared at me and said "You laugh, but that's really very serious." I was just like uhhh..okay. I really don't know what to do, do you think she will tell someone else if I just mentioned that I cut but am not suicidal???

[sparkleandfade]

Also, I am 19 years old.

[silver_elf]

They will only tell someone if you are in immediate danger so, having a suicide plan or feeling really suicidal OR if you are cutting very deep- I doubt they would tell anyone if you just said that you tended to self-harm. Plus you are of legal age so they would probably call qualified professionals (hospital) and not your parents. Do ask your therapist, they are supposed to answer questions like that.

Therapy can be really, really hard at first but it's really important you give it a lot of time. You need to form a solid relationship and work on trusting each other for it to start working. Also, the more you talk about what's going on, the easier it will get.

IF you feel you can't get to that point with whoever you are seeing now do try to find a different therapist who you think you could feel comfortable with. You're investing a lot of time and effort into this, and they are working for YOU so it does have to be a good fit for YOU.

You should be proud of yourself for taking that step of getting help.

[angel01]

I was a cutter for liek a bazillion years and my therapists all knew and i never had them tell anyone. She would always assess if i was suicidal or had plans to be if i had new cuts but I never was so she had no reason to try to admit me or something. Im like 99% sure this will all stay confidential. She might work at having you tell your mom(moms usually havean idea even if you dont tell) but patient doctor confidentiality wont allow her to tell

[LightsTurnOff]

I used to self harm and I was often asked 'did I feel suicidal' or 'was I planning to seriously harm myself'. Aslong as what you are doing does not seriously endanger you or others then it's all confidential. The only time a therapist might be forced to break this confidentiality is if you said you were going to kill yourself or someone else. Plus you are over 18, so they'd be calling other mental health professionals not your relatives. When I was under an eating disorders team they told me how hard it was to legally force someone into recovery once they were an adult.

Sometimes it can be difficult to come to terms with the problems you are having, I guess most of us are in a state of thinking that it's all okay. Therapy is hard, it takes time and a lot of work on your part to change your behaviours most of which will probably be very deeply engrained but it is worth the struggle to get your life back. There are healthier ways to cope.