poem- rubbish so don't feel obliged to read it

[shy-girl]

I don't usually do poetry, but was feeling really shit, so picked up a pen to write down what I was feeling, and this was what fell out of my head. I was also quite surprised to find it almost rhymes as well. I would't call it a work of literary genius, though.

Maybe if I skip my dinner
And become pretty and thinner
Maybe then I'll be just like
The daughter you deserve

Maybe if I acted calmer
And I wasn't a self-harmer
Maybe I would then not be
An embarassment to you

Maybe if I was more open
And had better means of coping
Maybe then I could become
A bit closer to you

Thanks for reading
Feel free to criticise...

[GreedvsNeed]

it's a very direct poem. At who is this aimed? Your parents?
It doesn't all rhyme, but I don't know if that was the purpose. It feels good to make art out of the words that describe your feelings and the situation inside.

I think it's great that you did this and would love to see more. You can send me your poems personally any time you like and I will tell you what I think xxx

[LosingMyself]

I adore this. It's something that really shouts exactly how I feel(not towards my parents, but in general)

I love how direct it is, I love that the first two lines of every part rhyme, and I love the way it flows in spoken word.

Amazing work!