Fuckingthrive

[pudgey2]

I think it is safe to say that threatening and bashing them will get you nowhere. Infact, they may just brush it off as you being out of your mind and unable to communicate. Kicking you out was something they probably discussed seriously together. If you're losing weight, think about how that affects other patients. I know it triggered me when other girls would refuse to eat at the table, I couldn't imagine what it would have done if girls started obviously LOSING weight when the focus was weight restoration.

[PerfectionAndControld-_-b]

OP, I understand that you are frustrated, but I think your anger is misguided. According to your original post, you were in the program for 9 months or so and was kicked out for losing 9 kg (20 lb) in three weeks? Is that correct? At that point in the game (ie by 9 months into treatment), losing 20 lbs in 3 weeks isn't an Oops! little slip up, it would involve blatant refusal of following the programs rules.

It sounds like you are blaming the treatment team for you behaviors instead of taking responsibility of them. It also sounds like you think you can get back at them and make them pay for kicking you out, by getting even sicker, but it doesn't work that way. The ED logic I am hearing in this email is, "Of course I want to recover but how can I now because I was kicked out of the program. It's the treatment teams fault that I'm so disordered right now. They abandoned me, but the ED...the ED will always be there for me." Just sayin.

I'm not sure what you are hoping to accomplish by giving this email to the intended recipents, but I really don't think anything will happen as a result, except to be taken less seriously by the treatment team.

Lol, I forgot to add that when they put me from residence into day programme all the staff left straight after dinner, and the rest of the patients left in their cars and went home, and I'm standing there only just at my goal weight and they leave me alone after dinner. I take full responsibility for what I am and how my life is, but I could feel that my thinking was getting a little better at that stage, and what I really needed at that point was not to be trusted. Not that I was, the reason all staff went literally after dinner is because that was their home times.

You also must know, that I am missing a lot of details, I just wanted to get some thoughts on the email. I know that it won't change anything, I need to do it though. For me, so that I can finally move one.

And HAHAHA at weightlessrunner, I'm pretty sure you don't know me and I'm certain you don't care so why bother even typing. And I didn't think I sounded like a loser, I was just in a really dark headspace and I made a thread on here before I took some pills and to be honest I just didn't care. When I came to I realised though of course, so I ma- ...FUCK THIS UTTER SHIT.