Fuckingthrive

[PerfectionAndControld-_-b]

Didn't really know where to put this, but I had to post it somewhere to display my anger and utter frustration.
Thrive is an ed service who kicked me out for struggling and now I'm back where I started before the 9 or so month hospital stay.

This is an email that I am going to post up all over the nurses station and send to the staff that fucked me (pretty much)
Do realise that this is the uncensored version and I will remove the violence, swearing and a few other things so that they take it more seriously,
I just havn't edited it yet and I wrote this thing in anger because of what they have done to me and my friend. **hang in there mate**

Here it is:

Hello there.
Remember me???

I'm the crazy fuck who you completely gave up on.

You should have just given me a gun, at least it would have been faster!!!
At the moment, I'm sleeping 2 hrs every 24, eating less than 150cal a day, losing weight again, cutting, taking pills, planning shit that should not be in my head.

It's not completely your fault...but I'm quite sure I wouldn't have gotten so much worse if you fucks hadn't kicked me out after I lost 9kgs in 3 weeks. What kind of eating disorder service does that to someone!!? Just burns them away, like yesterdays newspaper.

Oh and I thought I should mention that I DIDN'T bring emma blades, and if she says I did then she is LYING THROUGH HER TEETH!! I will admit, I was considering it, cause I've been in exactly the same position as she was too many times to count but in the end I said "nahh man, I just couldn't, If I did and something happened to you...the trigger would already be pulled into my brain" AND KATE IS A FUCKING BACKSTABBING LIAR, who doesn't give a fuck about me, a little bit like you guys.

Yes I'm talking to you fucking Darell, Tracey, Diane, Estalla and more I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL WHEN I
DIE!!

oh and stop treating Sam like shit!!! I will slit all your throats if this bullshit continues. She already thinks she isn't good enough in the first place, why do you feel the need to add to it????!!!

EVERYONE that I've talked to that's been to your shitty service has relapsed. NO LIE!

You don’t seem to realise that you hold our fragile, broken and fading lives in your hands. And if you do you sure don’t seem to act like it to some people.

A FEW SUGGESTIONS:
1. Try have quality food, instead of fucking quantity food.
2. Let people use some seasoning and herbs and stuff (actually lets you enjoy the food, and it’s fucking normal, not that that should matter)
3. STOP with the whole belief that if someone gets to their goal weight that it's all fucking fixed. And DON'T say you don't do that, doing something evil is one thing, denying it is a whole other ball game.
5. Stop treating some patients worse than others. We already think so badly about ourselves, why must you add to it?? Why must you fucking judge and cage some people (me and sam for example) and let others do whatever they fucking want?
6. Why do you employ such shit staff???? It doesn't make any sense, it's like having a vet who can't tell sex or something. It Is FUcked!
7. and lastly, why did you do this to do me???? Say that I was worth trying for and then do all of this!!! How can you say you give a fuck? So go on...help the others, I don't deserve to get better right???
I DESERVE TO DIE!!!

Before any of this

I was already insane and lost and abounded and betrayed

I already had the worlds dick fucking me

Then you just had to join in didn't you???

Now I'm even more dead inside

And there is even less no hope

And the messed up thing is that I want to recover
I want to live life, and make people happy.

TOO LATE I GUESS

MOTHERFUCKERS I WILL DANCE ON YOUR GRAVES!!!!!

--

They have done more fucked shit than this tho
So yeeeahh, thoughts? Improvements?

[balrog_roller]

o.O

After reading that, if I was a staff member, I would honestly ignore it. You probably aren't the first one hurt by their practices. Compose yourself, re-read, realize that all the explaining done in the draft makes you sound quite childish. Leave out the names of other program participants, this is about you alone. They will ignore or brush off any defense/protection you attempt to give your mates in the profram. If they can't defend themselves, well the world is fucking cruel. You just have to learn to use that cruelty to your advantage. Before sending though, find out if there is a medical ethics committee in your country and file a report. Most countries take the treatment of patients as an extremely serious matter. This way you aren't fucking yourself over by sending the email first.

[KoH.]

Agree with the reader above. Re-read it and adjust to a more adult manner. Taking the foul language out would be a start and the !!!!!! grammar AND I SUGGEST GETTING RID OF THE SHOUTY TEXT TOO.

Also remember that paragraphs are your friends.

and you don't need to leave sentences on each line

when you could put it all together

and not look tacky

There's also no need for all the threats you're making; that's not helping you. Relax, re-write it, post it up here again and we'll help you till it's spot on.

[PerfectionAndControld-_-b]

o.O

After reading that, if I was a staff member, I would honestly ignore it. You probably aren't the first one hurt by their practices. Compose yourself, re-read, realize that all the explaining done in the draft makes you sound quite childish. Leave out the names of other program participants, this is about you alone. They will ignore or brush off any defense/protection you attempt to give your mates in the profram. If they can't defend themselves, well the world is fucking cruel. You just have to learn to use that cruelty to your advantage. Before sending though, find out if there is a medical ethics committee in your country and file a report. Most countries take the treatment of patients as an extremely serious matter. This way you aren't fucking yourself over by sending the email first.

It's only been running a year. because it exists the government don't give funding to people who want to go to a better hospital in aussie (I live in nz). Thrive is the only solely ed residence service in nz (I'm pretty sure).
And anyway the main reason for writing it would be to just get it off my chest. and to hopefully help them to start treating people like people not just as numbers on a scale and a file in their locker.
Thanks for the advice thats the main reason I posted it on here, cause I don't want to ruin my chance at making them regret what they did to me.

[PerfectionAndControld-_-b]

Agree with the reader above. Re-read it and adjust to a more adult manner. Taking the foul language out would be a start and the !!!!!! grammar AND I SUGGEST GETTING RID OF THE SHOUTY TEXT TOO.

Also remember that paragraphs are your friends.

and you don't need to leave sentences on each line

when you could put it all together

and not look tacky

There's also no need for all the threats you're making; that's not helping you. Relax, re-write it, post it up here again and we'll help you till it's spot on.

...I said at the top that this is the un-edited version. "Do realise that this is the uncensored version and I will remove the violence, swearing and a few other things so that they take it more seriously, "
Dw, when its done, it will be A LOT more mature (I did write it in like 10mins and it will be a proper letter as well, not a list format, just made it easier to read for on here)
Lol I'm not idiot (well maybe I am..but, shit I don't know, I guess I am lol)
Not a complete one though, otherwise I would have sent it without thinking about it

Thanks, I need to make it puuurfect before I sent it.
I really want to make them think about how they treat other patients from now on.

[weightlessrunner]

There is a vent section.

You created this account because you thought you sounded like a 'loser' as metalmaniac333. Perhaps it's time for another account. You are decluded if you think they are going to take you seriously. This reads nothing more than an angsty attention seeking teen. The language is inappropriate and the manner in which you address the issue shows a lack of maturity, which again, will most likely not be received in the way that you desire.

What was the point of this thread?

[balrog_roller]

And anyway the main reason for writing it would be to just get it off my chest. and to hopefully help them to start treating people like people not just as numbers on a scale and a file in their locker.

I understand how you feel but there is a right and a wrong way to go about this. You need to investigate their policy on the treatment of their patients (customers is the better term) and whether it follows guidelines set forth by your country for establishments like it. Shouldn't matter that it is the first one to open up. They still have to get government approval to operate in most countries. Knowledge is power, don't make yourself look like an idiot to people you may need in the future. They may refuse treatment.

What was the point of this thread?

Everything you said to the OP has been addressed, granted it may or may not be in the right section, but at least someone is attempting to point them in the right direction. Most kids their age wouldn't have even asked for help in this before going off on the people who they felt mistreated them. I will give kudos for that and only that. I'd rather have a member ask for help in difficult situations than seeking tips to further destroy their bodies. Hmmm, much like I keep seeing on this site.

[happytapeworm]

Whats up with the hate here lol , It's just a rant and an unedited one.

[balrog_roller]

Only hate here was from one person given they lack the ability to read between the lines. Its not hard to discern the people who truly need help and those that are attention whores.

[Veganelf]

OP, I understand that you are frustrated, but I think your anger is misguided. According to your original post, you were in the program for 9 months or so and was kicked out for losing 9 kg (20 lb) in three weeks? Is that correct? At that point in the game (ie by 9 months into treatment), losing 20 lbs in 3 weeks isn't an Oops! little slip up, it would involve blatant refusal of following the programs rules.

It sounds like you are blaming the treatment team for you behaviors instead of taking responsibility of them. It also sounds like you think you can get back at them and make them pay for kicking you out, by getting even sicker, but it doesn't work that way. The ED logic I am hearing in this email is, "Of course I want to recover but how can I now because I was kicked out of the program. It's the treatment teams fault that I'm so disordered right now. They abandoned me, but the ED...the ED will always be there for me." Just sayin.

I'm not sure what you are hoping to accomplish by giving this email to the intended recipents, but I really don't think anything will happen as a result, except to be taken less seriously by the treatment team.