What is in my head, translated through the english language

[moon_light]

Sometimes at night, when things stop breathing, I can feel an empty peace that tries to choke me. And I caress it and I call it mine, and it hurts me and rips me open and my intestines fall onto the floor. But I lick it, kiss it gently, and hope that it will love me. Instead it twists my arm and makes me scream— blood pours out of my pores and my insides start to grey. I am dying. But it is okay, because nothing else has ever been okay, and this is like nothing else. It is okay.

[Inedia]

Wow that is just incredibly powerful. The seduction, the fear, the desperate hope. You've just encapsulated how I feel with a paragraph of haunting prose.