Depression is worse than ever and I don't know what to do.....

[sparkleandfade]

Just took a depression assessment test. It told me that I have severe depression. I already knew this. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 13 and am now 19. However, from the ages of 14 to I'd say 18 and a half, I was happy. I found joy in every day somehow because I knew that I had to so that my depression wouldn't come back at all. My depression when I was 13 was so horrific that I didn't even remember that I went to see multiple therapists until about the middle of last year, I had to ask my mom because my mind had blocked it out. Now, my depression has come back stronger than ever and is getting worse by the day. I think it really is true what they say, that having depression and these other issues doesn't mean that you're weak, it means that you've been strong for way too long. Cause it's back, and it brought with it an eating disorder this time. I really don't know how to get through this.

[elzie]

Did you do the test online? Don't do those tests unless a therapist asks you to because ANYONE could do a test and most people will be told their at least 'slightly depressed' (my bf did one once and it said he could have Bipolar LOLOL.) If you do these tests they make you feel insane and act insane.

The only thing you can really do is go back to a therapist. I know what it's like to block out things and I know it's frustrating to remember but you need to go back and let someone help you. Because if you keep a negative mind, you'll always be miserable.

-huuug-

[sparkleandfade]

Thank you for your response I actually talked to my roommates last night about it and they told me that I need to go talk to a professional. I am going to try to make the effort

[scout2130]

sparkleandfade-

I've had depression most of my life, and been on anti-depressents off and on since junior high. The past couple years have been the worst. There's some days I just can't even get out of bed. My kitties are my best friends (the only ones who are there for me NO MATTER WHAT

It's awesome that you told somebody. Good for you! It's really, really difficult to do that. Through all my years of depression, I've never been to a therapist until now. Now with depression and mia I figured its time. First appointment is in a few days. It's going to be extra difficult because I understand how depressions and ED just feed on each other.

Take it slow, celebrate small victories, like being able to laugh at a friends joke.

Hugs from Puss-Puss, Scout, and me, Erin.

[sparkleandfade]

Thank you, scout2130! Great advice. I actually told my roommates the other night (alcohol may or may not have influenced that) haha but I do want to try to get help now because I have an ED now too. It's all just way too much to handle and I have been having anxiety attacks and a really bad one last night. I just want your input because we seem to have a similar issue here, I am in college but I feel that the counselors here can't provide me with the help I'm looking for. What kind of Therapist are you going to? I want someone that I can talk to about my depression AND my ED.

[scout2130]

I think I'm just going to a licensed general counselor. ED and depression are both listed in her specialties. I figure I'll go to the first couple meetings and if it doesn't seem to be going well I'll start looking for a therapist with more experience in those two areas. I agree with college counselors. They see so many people I don't think they would even remember my name. But maybe it would be a good starting point, see them once and they could refer you to someone they know or recommend.

-Erin

[sparkleandfade]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I could use them for the referral if anything. I'm going to call tomorrow to make an appointment. Thank you so much for your help!