Would love make it all better?

[shantaram]

I've finally found someone, we've been together for a little over 9 months now. Being with him has not really changed my ED, though I have learned to cope with having to eat dinner some days. But whenever I'm not with him, I'm as ED'ed as ever. However, being with him has helped my mood a lot! When I'm with him I'm less depressed. He has also encouraged me to stop SI-ing, before I met him I was getting stitched done multiple times a week, now I cut less and less. It just hurts him so much when I hurt myself, and I dont want to put him through that. I'm also not suicidal anymore, because I dont want to die and miss out on all the good times ahead with him, and I also dont want to put him through losing me. And I feel like with him I'm stronger so that I can cope with life.

But ED wise, it hasnt changed much.

[fruit-loop]

I used to think I was too consumed by my ed to ALLOW space in my life... then I fell head over heels. Big time. Ed wise, I was just finishing a round of OP treatment (my 2nd)... was recovered as I've ever been. Love helped & provided a distraction & an alternative & (most of the time) healthier way of life.
8 years later we break up... I'm suicidal & completely lost & devoid of the future I thought I would have. Bulimia returns BIG TIME (worse than ever)... and I'm in OP treatment again (for the 3rd time & HOPEFULLY the last!!!). Looking back on the 8yrs I considered myself 'recovered'... I can see my ed/ocd/compulsive behaviours kinda transferred & manifested in other areas.
Its been nearly 16 months since we broke up & people are asking me "so have you met anyone/are you looking to meet someone?"... I'm not sure I want to meet anyone at this stage. I guess I need to learn to live myself: as an single adult WITHOUT an ed first.

[brijeeet]

I used to think I was too consumed by my ed to ALLOW space in my life... then I fell head over heels. Big time. Ed wise, I was just finishing a round of OP treatment (my 2nd)... was recovered as I've ever been. Love helped & provided a distraction & an alternative & (most of the time) healthier way of life.
8 years later we break up... I'm suicidal & completely lost & devoid of the future I thought I would have. Bulimia returns BIG TIME (worse than ever)... and I'm in OP treatment again (for the 3rd time & HOPEFULLY the last!!!). Looking back on the 8yrs I considered myself 'recovered'... I can see my ed/ocd/compulsive behaviours kinda transferred & manifested in other areas.
Its been nearly 16 months since we broke up & people are asking me "so have you met anyone/are you looking to meet someone?"... I'm not sure I want to meet anyone at this stage. I guess I need to learn to live myself: as an single adult WITHOUT an ed first.

That's what I'm afraid of...being with someone would really help me, but I think once we broke up it would send me back to the start, or worse.

[xXxXx]

I don't know what I'd do without my husband he's the biggest support I've ever had.
Like others have said it's great having someone to confide in who cares but as far as my mental health goes it's worse than ever. In fact I developed an ED since we've been married. So it's great having that extra support but for me it didn't fix any underlying problems.

X

[LittleFoot]

I'm probably just feeling really lonely lately but do you ever wonder that if you found that one person, things would change? Even if i found that one person, i would just refuse to date because i'm scared of confrontation.

No, it doesn't fully change. It can help improve it a bit, but it usually stays the same for the most part.

[KoH.]

No, it doesn't fully change. It can help improve it a bit, but it usually stays the same for the most part.

Like a temporally fix.

I'm thinking.. it could help if that person cared about the persons happiness enough, they'd fill your head with lovely stuff and give you something to look forward to all the time. That way, we wouldn't be thinking about ED thoughts so much and gives us reasons worth fighting maybe. Both have to try and make equal effort though.

[LittleFoot]

Like a temporally fix.

I'm thinking.. it could help if that person cared about the persons happiness enough, they'd fill your head with lovely stuff and give you something to look forward to all the time. That way, we wouldn't be thinking about ED thoughts so much and gives us reasons worth fighting maybe. Both have to try and make equal effort though.

I think it's unreasonable to seek a partner that'll cure or even work to actively solve/improve the status of an eating disorder.

A loving partner can be supportive, and can give you motivation to improve, so it is better, but the eating disorder is there.

Imagine pounding down 20,000 calories and then your lover stops by to see you, or imagine if you fasted for a week and same thing? It does help, again, but it's minor.