Has my fear turned into OCD like behaviours?

[morningismockingme]

I feel like I'm spamming this website, but i have never found anywhere I can get some much help and support. Its lovely. Im just saying everything because I have so many questions ive held onto that have never been answered.

Anyway, for about four years now, its sounds ridiculous, but I have had a fear that I am going to be killed. It started off with walking to school in the mornings. I was scared someone would shoot me from thier car, so everytime a car would go by I would stop walking and then when it left I could carry on.
It kind of progressed into thinking that suspicious looking people or just people I didnt feel right about were going to kill me, and then lead to a series of behaviours to stop this from happening.

The main one is touching wood. I touch wood eight times a day, four in the day and four at night. I have to say all four together (one after the other) whilst touching nothing else but wood and as quickly as possible, and its the same phrase i say everytime. I chose the number four because I have a fear about the number 6. 1,2 and 3 all go into 6 and 5 is too close to six so four seemed perfect. I also touch wood four times if I am around someone who i think is going to hurt me, for added protection. (for example, a suspicious man on the train holding rosemary beads <this happened and i had a panic attack, it was not fun) and I cant not do this. it makes me feel protected, like nothing can happen if ive touched wood. i dont remember a day in the last year when i havent done it.

Another is checking the doors and windows at night four times, and standing at the top of the stairs for eight minutes to check no one is there.

I have to open every single door in the house when i'm alone, starting from down stairs and working my way up in order of use, and then closing them all when someone comes home in order or size.

Im not sure if this is me just being ridiculously obsessed about this one fear or if it has progressed into something a little more. I'm a little scared to tell my therapist or anyone because im scared of what they might think. Thankyou. xxx

[sunrayshay]

That definitely sounds like OCD , nothing to be ashamed about you should tell your therapist theynmight be able to help you before it gets worse !

[morningismockingme]

I will try and pluck up the courage to tell Jodie and see what she says thankyou!

[sunrayshay]

No problem ! Just bring it up casually like wow the other day I just realized I'm doing ....... Ad I can't not do it or I feel ...... And I'm sure she will ask the questions but it's very common to have rituals and checking ect!

[elzie]

This deffo sounds like OCD and you do need help for it.

you don't need to be worried, OCD is quite common. <3

and don't worry about spamming this place :P

[Blue Spirit]

I have weird issues like that too. Like I can't look at the clock if it says 3:36 because that's an evil time. And 3 AM is the time a murderer, will be at my house. I have a big issue with numbers. The number """"6"""" is also an evil number as well.
If you think you have a problem, you should get help. Better safe than sorry!

[morningismockingme]

I have a thing about 3am as well. For some reason I feel like that time isnt safe, so i cant leave my room between 3am and 4am for anything. sometimes i will leave it until 4.30 just be safe. It can be really irritating when you need a wee :/ Yes the number six just inst good, and I was actually born on the 6th, but I was born in the 4th month and 4 is my safe number so it kind of balances out haha. Yes I will definitely try to tell someone, because it does affect things Thankyou everyone!

[shannonichigo]

This is definitely OCD.