Reasons to Recover.

[ferret]

I want to be healthy
want to be physically strong again
want to be able to feel emotions without immediately converting it to "I just don't wanna eat."
want to stop feeling like I have to punish myself
want my moods to stop being so wonky
want to feel worthy of love no matter my size or what I ate
want to not have to ware 3 layers in the beginning of fall
never want to bleed internally again

[meerz]

I want to heal my body.
I want to stop feeling like a wraith.
I want to enjoy in being touched.
I want to start trusting people.
I want to stop doubting in those I care about just because I have no faith in myself.
I want to stop neglecting myself and everything I create.
I want to believe that I deserve the best of existence.
I want to face the fact that I'm better in some things than the others.
I want to stop feeling filthy.
I want to stop the anxiety I'm feeling every night I lay down to sleep.
I want to stop being haunted by ed in my dreams and I want that to come true.

[tweedledum]

because eating disorders are boring and predictable and full of shit

[raven37]

My reasons right here:
mimi and veevee.jpg

[Mother]

To eat when I'm hungry, and stop when I'm full. I didn't think I was capable of doing that.
To actually enjoy working out
To not have” bulimia brain”, I can remember things
to actually have food in the house for my boyfriend
To have a lot of my symptoms going away like acid reflux and lactose intoleranceand constipation
To learn how to differ hunger and emotions

[boba91]

I want to be healthy and be ok with it.

I don't want to always obsess over what other people are eating. It's none of my business.

I want to be loved by someone. I can't let someone else love me if I hate myself.

I want to do well at university and finish my degree because I worked hard to get to this point and I deserve to do well.

I don't want to be the eating disordered one who's 'strange about food' anymore. I want a real identity.

I don't want to waste my twenties like I wasted my teens.

[hopes]

To redeem the time I've lost obsessing about my weight, food, and exercise.
To look forward to holidays as a time to enjoy special food and special friends and family.

[stories]

so i recently made a pro/con list. here are some of the reasons to recover from that list.

to not hurt others
to not hurt myself and have it lead to worse things/serious damage/bad side or long-term effects
to not be an emotional wreck -- me (i.e. full of negative emotions, always feeling low)
this is an unhealthy way to live and is an unhealthy/false/untrue/unrealistic mindset
to not cause others concern/to worry
it is not a solution, i am only transferring the problem
so i can stop pretending
there is no real control in this
to not have the possibility of losing people/being distant or disconnected
to not accidentally influence others
to start feeling satisfied again (with anything/anyone), to have things be good enough again
to be able to concentrate/remember and regain my motivation/productivity/will to do things
to not have insomnia/hypersomnia
to not waste others time and effort who are trying to help you

[SilverHeartVaulter]

The big thing that really sealed the deal for me is finding vaulting. I love that sport so much but it requires so much strength, it forced me to choose. There are a lot of things you can manage on a daily basis with an eating disorder, maybe not well but at least you learn to fake it, but I physically couldn't get and keep the strength and physical shape needed for vaulting and have an eating disorder too. It helped a lot because it didn't give me a choice really so whenever I feel a relapse coming on, I just remind myself it's simply this or that and that helps a lot.

[Apex]

Because this fucking hurts.