If she dies I know I will feel guilt and/or regret that I didn't do something to help her. It kills me to see how far gone she is. I don't know what to do. She is extremely intelligent. She has acknowledged all the horrible side effects of anorexia. I wish I could stage an intervention but I think she would be especially unreceptive to help from me because we haven't been friends for a long time. But she isn't really surrounded by people who are in a position to help her. She has a lot of dysfunctional people in her life. I guess there is nothing I can do. I feel helpless. I wonder when she will die... I wonder if I will know when it happens or if it will just be something I see in the paper one day.
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07-22-2010 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
How do I help an anorexic who doesn't want help?
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Los Angeles, CA
- Blog Entries
If she's an adult, then there's really nothing that you can do. But if she's a minor, her parents can intervene if they do it the right way. Otherwise she will need to go into some kind of treatment but if she's not interested then she can't be forced.http://www.formspring.me/Jacklinger
Beauty fades eventually, but a kind soul is forever.
I know you may feel helpless, but the biggest thing she needs right now is support. Just be there for her and pray for her as much as possible. It's really hard, because there's no way to really "force" her into recovery, but as long as she is surrounded by people who care about her and you do your best to provide opportunities for her to recover, there's not much else you can do. Just do your best to stay by her and tell her how wonderful she is. That's probably something that will go a very long way. You're doing the right thing by trying to be her friend right now. I hope everything turns out for the better!I know what I am doing. I know it may be wrong, but I know that I am empty, I am pure, and I am strong...™
07-22-2010 #4Junior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
Thanks for the responses. I actually haven't reached out to her yet and I don't think I can. Like I said we aren't friends anymore. I know about her ed because of mutual acquaintances. She probably has no idea how much it hurts me to know that she is suffering so much. It breaks my heart. But I understand that no one can force her to go into recovery. She has to want it for herself. I get that. I have a feeling she might visit this forum but I'm not sure... and since I have no other way of communicating with her or reaching out to her I would like to address her here. Just in the off chance she may see it someday and realize I am talking about her:
You know why I can't talk to you. But I know all about your ED. I understand why you are doing this. And I know you inside and out. I know you are highly intelligent and capable of accomplishing many things. But your ED is consuming every minute of every hour of every day of your life. That really breaks my heart. I can see that you are suffering and it kills me. But I'm not just sad, I am scared. I am very scared that you are going to die soon. Everytime you fall off my radar I wonder if it is because you have died. That's bizarre... things used to be so different. I don't know why I decided to do this. I guess I just wanted you to be aware that there are people out there who still care about you even though they aren't in your life anymore. You are a beautiful, smart, funny, and interesting girl. It would be a tragedy to lose you. I hope you get whatever you need in order to be happy.
And I'm sorry.
I think the fact that you and her aren't speaking, if you were to reach out to her it could possibly help her? I know that if an old friend of mine reached out to me to express that they still cared, it would make me feel a lot better. You seem like a truly genuine and great friend, and I think you should try talking to her. But don't be forceful. Just express your love and concern, and let her take it how she pleases. I think it's so wonderful that you care so much about your friend. I wish I had better friends :P.
You can't force her into recovery, but you can love her. And you can let her know you love her. I can tell you do.
I hope your friends gets help. This disease is horrible.
I hope that by now perhaps you have thought about a way of reaching out to her?
Maybe you should just talk to her, and tell her that it's 'okay' to acknowledge that it is an illness. But also that it's okay to eat as well. As others have said - you know you can't force her, try not to even accuse her of having an ED, just slowly let yourself be there for her again. If you suddenly appear again after whatever happened, and act like 'You have an ED, I love you, and don't want you hurt', it will seem to her like a plan orchestrated by someone else - i.e parents, or similar, in order to trick her into admitting the problem to them. Of course this would probably be the last thing she will want to do. So if you can be friends with her again - through any means possible - do so. That will do the world of good. Try to just be there for her again. <3
Good luck, Angel. <3HUGE BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG CW BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG LITTLE
I'm sorry about your situation but.. Why do you think she is going to die soon? How severe is her anorexia? Aka, how underweight is she and/OR how long has she been on a starvation diet?Hai, I'm Cali. x3 PM me sometime! I'd love to make friends.
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