spaceghost

I have a new diagnosis: ADD. New medication: Adderall. Both make sense, and do what they're supposed to. One quality of the condition that I despise, more than the restlessness, or the distractibility, is the resilience. I don't want to bounce back, I want it to end. I need this to stop.

My life hasn't been good, but neither has it been the kind of hell that silences one's accusers. But the pattern, the overarching truth, is that I've reached the limits of my abilities. I haven't moved forward. The sum of all this, given without blame, taken without argument, is a person who doesn't want to be here.

I don't want to hear about, or talk about, argue about, be given advice about, any potentials, or what's wrong placed in desperate pairing with a solution. The sorts of answers I want are ones no one can pretend to have, to which they offer platitudes; the condition most of in the world us share, but few will admit into their reasoning.

Life is a curse. I hope I'll be free from it soon.

Nothing new to find out? On the whole planet? :/ Seems kind of....boring.

I think there might still be something you want in this life, y'know? Even if it's something small. It doesn't have to be all bad or good. Or life-altering. But- it's yours.