Cecilie

So I'm a veteran member now? Anyways. It's update time I guess. I need to let you guys know how I’m doing. Idk if anyone cares, though.

I was in hospital for 3 months for my ED, because everything was complicated and I got suicidal every time I ate. 3 months in hell, but now I got like, at least, 4 mental diagnoses. Now I have bulimia, and i hate it. If you read some posts back on this blog, you'll see I was terrified about "catching" bulimia. I knew it was no good.

I've tried really hard to get control over my calories lately. It's torture to eat when I end up wanting to kill myself no matter what. But then again, you can't stop eating.

I'm now in treatment for borderline personality disorder and ED, it's called DBT and it does not work.

The past weeks I’ve cut down my calorie intake to a minimum, I need to be in control. I don't feel sick when I don't eat, I want to get rid of B/P-ing, the only way I know doing so is by starving myself. I know it's wrong, but it's better than killing myself for eating.

I haven’t been on here lately because this site triggered bulimic behavior, and all I want is to get rid of that kind of crap. Though I've missed to be around.