Just after support :(

[loz_mac]

Ok..so the reason I'm going to be saying what I'm going to say on here is because I cannot find a friend I find close enough to talk.


I split up from a guy a couple of years ago, he cheated on me and then added insult to injury by telling me that I was fat. I've never liked my body size/shape and have always battled against it.

After this incident I ended up feeding myself just fruit and smoothies and trained my ass off in the gym, I ended up making myself pretty ill as you can imagine, the weirdest thing was funny little red marks popping up on my body, mainly on my chest and tummy. My doctor thought it was because of my lack of eating and over training.

Well, after a few months I got back on track and was 'normal' again, eating properly and training but still hating my body.

Now I seem to have swayed the other way. Since before Christmas 08 while I was in Switzerland I found myself binging and overeating, only to have to get rid of it straight away.

Now I am back home I am still doing the same thing, but nothing ever seems to happen with my body..ie I never loose weight and I can't get rid of my belly or hips. To make things worse I feel I am having the absolute worst luck when it comes to guys which is making me feel rather depressed and make me want to carry on my mia behaviour.

I hate the body I'm in, I can't shift the fat of myself no matter what I eat and how much I train.
I hate the fact that I can't seem to find myself a decent guy who isn't just after sex and then wants to leave. I'm a very sensitive person who needs a little support off someone as close as a partner. The little green monster of jealousy made an appearance yesterday when I was out with my younger sister and her boyfriend. They are so happy together but all I can do is ask myself 'why can't I be that happy? what is wrong with me?'

Since breaking up from that guy a couple of years ago my confidence has been at a low, and I don't seem to have any luck whatsoever. I'm starting to lose faith in everything I do and falling further and further into a bottomless hole.

[Night-butterfly]

Everyone has a right to find themselves a good boyfriend/ girlfriend.
Maybe you’re just in a bad circle where you choose boys that are bad of you and are just bringing you down? Maybe you think that you can’t find better boys than that because of your problems with yourself?

Anyway I think that you will find a boyfriend that you can be close with, but I know the feeling. Remember--- Don’t give up! :)

Even with the problems you are going through, it doesn't mean that you're not worthy of a good boyfriend =).

[Heba86]

I found myself in a similar situation as well a few years ago. A bf cheated on me and then called me ugly and fat, while dumping me. It tore me apart. And I focused on that for too long. It still hurts sometimes and obviously doesn't help my ED. I don't know how old you are, but younger men are jerks. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, but too many of them are just after one thing. As men get older they start to look for different qualities in women and not necessarily looking for just a good lay. I spent a lot of time talking to my guy friends about why I was having so many issues in the Love department and overall they told me that they think I give off this vibe that attracts a certain type of guy. Needless to say, if you give off a self-loathing vibe, which I did/do, I attract men who think they can control me or use me. I hate every part of myself, there isn't a single thing I like about me. But I am working on trying to like certain aspects of myself, in hopes that I can give off a slightly more confident attitude. I'm also trying to keep my mind off of it as much as possible and focus on other things, bc supposedly good things happen when you least expect it.

I guess my advice would be just to focus on yourself, now is the time to be selfish and do the things you want to do and the things you need to do, the things that you feel could improve you and hopefully things will work out eventually.