If feel like my body is taking over

[Professorana]

I don't know what's happened in the last couple of days but with the holiday, I've been eating a hell of a lot more than I'm used to. It used to be torture to make myself eat 400cals or more a day and now that my body has gotten used to eating shit again and I gave myself permission to eat for a day or two, it's like it has a mind of it's own now. I can't make it shut up. There is food everywhere and I'm hungry all the time. What the fuck is happening to me? I can't eat like this, I'm not even used to being hungry anymore but for the last three days, everytime I see food, I'm like--"oh, I'm hungry" instead of my usual response which is to run away from the food.

What do I do--how do I get back into the mind set? I feel like my self discipline has gone right out the window--what the fuck. Help!

[ella_bella]

okay. The same thing happened to me when I was sick a couple months ago and i had to eat to recover and then I couldn't stop. I did the same thing.

Fill every minute of every day with stuff! chores, writing a diary, reading - all your normal stuff u'd do to distract yourself but non-stop. the more you do the quicker ur metabolic rate and the less the hunger. the less the hunger the easier it is to use will power to resist until you don't need will power any more and you're back to normal. if you go out only take what money you need then you can't buy any food. I go out a lot in the evenings anyway because I live alone with my son, I find visiting people gives me a break from thinking about calories!

I reckon it took me about a week to get back to somewhere near normal but I've plateaued since so 2nd Jan - fast fast fast.

You'll be okay!

[sarah-charlotte]

hi hun i was in the exact same situation a few days ago and found that the only way to break the whole binge purge (im assumings your purging) cycle is to remove yourself from the environment your in, say if your visiting relatives then go home. i went from Newcastle to London and i cant tell you the change in me the second i stepped foot off the train i could feel ana again. might work for you too. or if you have stayed at home for christmas then start by binning all the crap from your fridge/cupboards and starting a fresh with fruit and veg. tell family that you got hungry in the night or that it had passed its date etc. it will empower you and will really help to regain some control over the food.

[Professorana]

It's funny, I almost wrote that it felt like Ana had left me--and for you to say that you could feel Ana with you again when you stepped off the train--now I know I'm not the only one. There is just so much shit laying around the house, I'm going to do just that when I got home--throw it all away. I just spent an hour on Black Bird Beauty and that helped a lot too. I've managed to escape dinner tonight--two smokes instead. Tomorrow I'm doing the Fasting Souls Program until we start our fast. That's about 150 cals of fruit and veg a day.

It seems like I opporate best when i have a plan and a schedule--and when I spend some time on ana sites. I've been away for a few days and I haven't kept my food journal and what a difference that makes in one's resolve not to eat.

Thanks ladies--you made me feel so much better!