this weekend

[iliketurtles]

My parents are coming to visit me this weekend! I didn't realise this until TODAY, so my arms are not suitable to be seen by parents because I didn't realise I'd have to hide them-my boyfriend has obviously seen the evidence of my self harming and while he seems a bit worried at the frequency of it he's amazing about it, didn't get freaked out at all; and as for other people I can just play it down, blame a cat, whatever. But my mother watches me like a HAWK, I'm fairly sure she suspects, or knows about my self harm. We're going for dinner and I think shopping, I'll wear long sleeves but I don't like this element of uncertainty-what if my mother wants me to try on clothes, or go swimming, or dancing or something???

Arrgh I'm sorry I just needed to vent a bit :(

[anonomousmia]

I had this last year, with an unexpected visit from my sister!! I obviously wore long sleeved tops, but yeah its the unexpected element of it that worries you!!

I had to change in the same room as her!? But luckily I turned away from her, kept the insides of my arms relatively close to my body, and distracted her with something else. But there's nothing you can do about it now, so you'll just have to wait for the weekend, I'm guessing your mum won't want to go swimming though lol!

Oh, and it's awesome your bf sounds understanding about it :) he must really care for you. My ex FREAKED out when he saw my thighs/hips once. bad times lol xx

[iliketurtles]

Thanks :) it didn't go too badly, one slightly scary moment when my sis nearly walked in on me changing though. What was making it worse was that a friend of my brothers killed herself recently and she used to cut herself, so it would have been a punch in the heart for my parents to see my cuts. I really want to cut myself now, all that's stopping me is my boyfriend. He doesn't get on my case about it or anything, but obviously he sees me naked so there's way to do it so he won't see the evidence and the look on his face...it's like kicking a puppy