What do you do when

[Professorana]

How do you meantally strengthen yourself after somebody you love and trust has been getting to you and slowly mangaged to convince you to eat something because they know all the right psychobabble bullshit to say to an ana and you do eat--a little bit----and feel like total crap and want to cry but can't purge cus your family is around?

How do you mentally psyche yourself back into gear--I hate eating, I hate food, I hate feeling full, I don't deserve food like that but when I try to tell him how psychologically agonizing it is to feel full, he freaks out so bad that I have to shut up and just pray that the laxatives work.

I'm not making any sense I guess, but I need your strength ladies--somebody's been getting to me and I can't be tempted away from ana, I need my ed to help me make sense of everything that's happening to me.

Please say you know what I'm talking about even if I sound like I'm full of shit!

[ebbholm]

I do know what you're talking about. I have this friend- Linda. She's the same. I love her with all my heart, but she knows all the buttons to press! She describes the exact way I feel, and half an hour later I feel like I've eaten a horse. Then I go for the longest jog I can imagine, go home, take a hot bath, breathe, have lots of water and fast for a few days- just to feel empty again.
I don't know if I'm any help to you- but I'm here if you want to talk. really.
hope you'll feel better soon!
xx

[model]

i no exactly wot u mean, my normal self has constant excuses why i shud be able to eat chocolate or another apple - but my ana side is strong and says hello, no way!! but all it takes is for someone to actually say to me one of the reasons i shud and i instanlty hone in on it, its weird it a bit like, yeah i shud because i want to be normal - but thats just a total excuse to eat, and then after u are like for fuks sakkeeeee i really dsont want to be normal. yes its really hard, its the argument in your head trying to find excuses. but wot our close ones dont realise is the immense punishment we go through after eating that one little thin, they have no idea the extend of damage they have done to use after persuading us to eat it, ive been through it so many times, even my mum will not let me have anything bad at all, she keeps a close eye on me because she knowswot happens aft6erwards!xx