We all have it!

[Professorana]

BDD is something that we probably all have in conjunction with our various eating disorders. It's simply that we view our bodies as much larger/fatter/you fill in the description--then the really are in reality. You know all those photos of the fat girl in the mirror and it's really an ana girl staring at herself? That's Body Dysmorphic Disorder

[pinkprincessbelle]

BDD is something that we probably all have in conjunction with our various eating disorders. It's simply that we view our bodies as much larger/fatter/you fill in the description--then the really are in reality. You know all those photos of the fat girl in the mirror and it's really an ana girl staring at herself? That's Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Oh yeah! Absolutely!

[amr3149]

Totally, I feel like I don't really know how I look until I look at a picture of myself.

Which is why I have dependency issues with my camera phone lol.

[pinkprincessbelle]

no photos! I am not a photo person i always look fat in them!:(

[Professorana]

I love shocking my therapist so I told her the other day that I've been eating less than 500cals a week for a couple months now. I'm an adult so there really isn't anything she can do about it. She says to me, "so you see yourself as fat", I'm like--duh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. I told my Dr that other day that the therapist said I had Body Dysmorphic Disorder and he laughed and said "no shit"! He asked me how much i wanted to weigh and I told him 117--(I'm almost 6 foot) and he didn't say anything--instead of getting mad at me and telling me that was below healthy bmi, he started talking to me about how I need to tell all the people in my life who are putting pressure on me to change to just "fuck off" as he put it. I told him with all the pressure I'm under lately, I'm ready to start cutting myself becuase I just don't know what else to do. Again, he was like--you don't need to change, you are who you are and it's other people that need to fuck the fuck off! He's one of the top most rated Cardiologists in New York City and I feel so lucky to have him.

[sarah-charlotte]

oh sweety please dont start self halming - i did for years and although u feel better for a while u will fuck up your arms. if u still want to then try switcheing to burning yourself on the ovan to get the pain out, is less messy, leaves a scar but will fade in time - likie a few years time! i did and even three years on my scars are still there but only i know they are there! :)

[Professorana]

Thanks Sarah for your concern. It just hurts like a bitch sometimes and even ana isn't enough. I hate to say it but I like the idea of burning. God that sounds terrible but its sounds a lot less messy than razors.

[ella_bella]

Totally, I feel like I don't really know how I look until I look at a picture of myself.

Which is why I have dependency issues with my camera phone lol.

oh my gosh i know totally what you mean!? Do you spend ages trying to get a nice photo of yourself only to be disappointed?

lol I sound like a freak now.

[saryndipitous]

I know this thread is getting kinda old, but I feel it's an important issue...

I reeeeally don't recommend starting to self-harm. I've been doing it on and off since I was 12 (I'm 21), and it's horrible. It's really embarrassing being around people when they make fun of "those emo cutters" when I know my arms and legs are riddled with scars. It's also terribly addictive. When things were really bad for me last winter, I had to cut every day or else I couldn't sleep. And then that wasn't enough, so I started cutting deeper, in more dangerous spots (like the veins on my wrists), and then I started burning, which might sound ok but really it's awful. Less messy, but way more painful and leaves weird scars.

Actually, SI was one of the reasons I got into ana. I didn't want to cut anymore so I made a deal with myself: don't eat, don't cut. It kinda worked in that I haven't cut since July, but my ED got out of hand.

Anyway, I hope you don't start SIing. One of my big fears is that I relapse again, so I really don't want to see anyone start down that road. Good luck :)

[sarah-charlotte]

that's why i suggested burning instead of cutting - so much safer and less messy!

[indiaxoxo]

oh my gosh i know totally what you mean!? Do you spend ages trying to get a nice photo of yourself only to be disappointed?

lol I sound like a freak now.

you sound like me...!

[size8jeans]

BDD is something that we probably all have in conjunction with our various eating disorders. It's simply that we view our bodies as much larger/fatter/you fill in the description--then the really are in reality. You know all those photos of the fat girl in the mirror and it's really an ana girl staring at herself? That's Body Dysmorphic Disorder
I have a bit of this. People tell me I'm slim and worked so hard to get where I am. I lost 65 pounds on Atkins the slow and healthy way and I am proud of that. But when I look in the mirror or see photos of myself I still see my stomach as fat and the roll around my stomach. I'm very unhappy still with my body.

[mona87]

agreed. I definitely couldn't take a razor, knive, or sharp blade of any kind to my skin. although I've had the urge.

I know you mean fire, but instead I've poured boiling water on a small area of skin, or soak a washrag in it and stick it to my skin until the sting goes away. Doing so properly results in water blisters within about a minute. It's the most relieving feeling, and the most outrageous urge/temptation when you're around hot water the next time.

Not saying everyone should do it, but that's how it felt for me.