EDNOS+Type1Diabetes

[hello_elle]

Hi! I'm Elle* and I'm new... but I feel so alone.

I'm starting to feel like I'm the only one who suffers from an eating disorder and diabetes. I hoped there'd be someone on here I could talk to who would understand.

I've experienced "disordered eating" since my fourteenth birthday, October 07, and was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes in February 08.
(Type 1 is NOT the kind you get when you're fat and old! Basically, my immune system decided to randomly attack my pancreas which consequently packed up and refused to produce insulin)
I went from about 108lbs to 128lbs in about two months. I have stretch marks on my thighs and I've never felt so disgusting.

In June 08, my life was literally turned inside out. In a betrayal of trust and confidence that will probably never be repaired, my mum read my diary and I was sent to an eating disorder specialist every two weeks. His name was Duncan and he was awesome but I stopped seeing him because I refused to talk about anything to do with my eating; most of the time we spoke about a passion we shared, theatre and acting.

So yeah. I'm sixteen, 5'4" and I don't think I can stand this much longer.

*pseudonym

[hello_elle]

15JAN10
1 Frikadellen 268cals


I will not eat anything else today. Lots if diet coke and tea.

[musicstreet25]

Aw i'm sorry, Type 1 is hard to deal with but not impossible. Remember to listen to your body, no thin and sickly, ok? You can do this, don't feel alone, we are all here to help you alright. Hang in there!

[hello_elle]

Thanks (:
I'll try my best to stay safe and your right - I need to listen to my body.
It just seems like there's no one else who's exactly in my situation, you know?

[musicstreet25]

Yea I haven't seen anyone else. I honestly wouldn't restrict though because it could really mess up your insulin levels. Just exercise and try to eat 800-1000 calories you know? You will still lose and stay healthy. Probably not what you want to hear but I like to think of health over skinny whenever I can offer someone advice. I'm always here if you need anything.

[hello_elle]

Do you mean Blood Sugar Levels? (:
But yes, you're right in both cases - I do need to think about my health even though it's definitely not what I want to hear, haha.
It's just difficult. This ED has such a hold on me...

[musicstreet25]

ha, yes blood sugar which leads to the amt of insulin you give yourself right? Sorry if I get it wrong. After being on this forum, I can def see that an ED is not a choice but take it a day at a time. Think about what you want now and in the future and if an unhealthy body will get you there, you can be skinny and healthy but it may take longer, and worse you don't want to go to the hospital you know? Thin and vibrant, thats the goal

[Jacklinger]

Type 1 is so hard to live with. Giving yourself those shots that make you hungrier than hell makes life really unfair doesn't it? It's like you're being forced to sabotage yourself.

I have type 2 myself. I'm not sure how long I've had it but was diagnosed 2 years ago. It was doing a lot of damage to me and I have to lose weight or die. My glucose is under control right now but I always feel so hungry, always. Even when I wasn't on my diet I still felt hungry most of the time. But now it's always, and I try not to think about that it will feel this way for the rest of my life.

But we will press onward, won't we? What other choice do we have? We can still have good times, and find some happiness.

[samheree]

hey elle!!! i hope you get this really soon.... im a type 1 diabetic and have been for about 4 1/2 years i am currently on the pump so i dont have to take shots anymore... but im also pro-ana and ednos. if you need anything or want to talk, please do!! i would love to have another buddy! : )
-sam

[samheree]

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[hello_elle]

SAMMM! Hi! Oh this is so great!
You're on the pump now? Do you like it more or less than injecting?
When I do inject insulin I try and take as little as possible. I've read about something called "diabulimia" online, where diabetics stop taking their insulin to lose weight but i've tried and it hasn't ever worked for me so i really don't recommend it! how tall are you?
sorry, this is an odd message - i'm just exciiiited!

[samheree]

heyy!! :)
i have never heard about that or done it... i LOVE the pump, cause i can "eat" whenever i want, or not eat... i am about 5'9
im so excited too !! :) i need more tips and tricks to hide it and with diabetes its even harder and i know what your going through cause i have it too!! and my parents are always on me about eating and all that. im so glad i saw ur post :)
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[hello_elle]

haha, i'm so glad you saw it too!
i'm making an aim account juuuust for you!

[musicstreet25]

yay! i'm glad you guys found eachother, i'm still here if you need anything!

[hello_elle]

me too (: awh, i love this community so much already.
thank you - that means a lot <3

[samheree]

yess thank you all so much!! :)

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[reclaimingkatie]

Over here...!!! I'm an insulin junkie too...
However...I rarely have been taking mine... I kinda like the spikes cause then you pee like 100's of calories... ; )
I am pretty new here...Joined early this month.
I have been struggling with my insulin forever, because everytime I really on it I keep gaining weight and just get bigger and bigger...
I can't stand it...!!!
Well, anyways...welcome to the forum ; )
(Didn't realize there was anyone else....)

[samheree]

cool yea! its hard for me though because i need it everyday, everytime i eat.


welcomee :)
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[reclaimingkatie]

Me too... I'm supposed to be taking my around 6 times a day...Have a long and slow acting...
One 2 daily and one for meals...but I hate it so much.... so decided to try to hold back on it a bit and when I'm restricting I don't have to take it either...
(It did land me in the hospital for ketoascidosis though... so I wouldn't recommend it to anyone...) Just saying it's something I do...

[hello_elle]

Yeah, it does! Your pee turns to, like, syrup haha. So gross, but true. Yeah, you have to be careful because of DKA comas. I have long acting (glargine/lantus) and fast acting (novorapid) too. I try to take my glargine every night but I always skip novorapid. It's bad because it means my BGLs are up and down like a fucking yoyo.
add me on aim! i got is especially for sam, haha - hello3ll3

[reclaimingkatie]

Cool...
I got mine...
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(Sam feel free to use as well...) ; )

[samheree]

ok cool! mine is theoffices1fan

thanks!

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[StickyMikki]

Elle, you're not alone. I am in the same boat and have had type 1 diabetes for the past 16 years. I acquired my eating disorder when I was 11. For a while it was pretty well under control, but when I was about 17, right after I had my daughter, it crept in and destroyed my life. Between the diabetes and the sheer lack of nutrition I was receiving, I was almost put on kidney dialysis and I was hospitalized for weeks to rehabilitate my body and make it so I could keep food down. (I was involuntarily puking because my body didn't know what to do with food.) It also made it so my body digested my muscle tissue instead of fat; I was so weak, I could not carry my 3 week old baby. BE CAREFUL!!!! :(

[prettyfat]

I have type 1 diabetes too, but i'm not exactly ana or mia. Everything I try fails.. I can't purge. I've tried so many times but nothing comes up. It frustrates me so much and once I broke down in tears. And when I get frustrated, I eat. But as of now, I'm not.
Anyway. Help to you. I'm only 13, but I've had type 1 diabetes since I was 16 months old. I test my bloodsugar around 14 times a day. It gives so much more control over my body. The key is consistency. You just have to keep checking your bloodsugar. And never, ever let it go too low. When it gets to 80, eat something. Don't leave it there and do some exercise. Eat or drink carbs. Get your bloodsugar up before you start exercise, because exercise acts as insulin and if you do this when you have low blood sugar it'll only cause more problems. It's okay to be in the 150's/low 200's, as long as you're not planning on eating soon. You probably knew all of this, so I'll go now :) Good luck, and im sorry you're having a hard time :(