Self injury thread!

[hopelessly_spinning]

Hey, there's a self harm section now!

How many people on here self harm?
I have been since I was 13. Now I'm 17.

[time.and.again]

i also suffer from SI. i started it when i was 17 and have done it off and on for the past 6 years. . .

[skylines]

started when I was twelve (wow...it's been a long time.) I'm fifteen now.

[fwyzing]

I started when I was 8. I liked to punch myself with scissors. It left an interesting mark. I hid them well, blamed it on falling off my bike cuz I'm clumsy and everyone knows I fell off things all the time. I liked how it hurt.

I've always liked pain :/ not for a "release" or anything, just to feel the pain and have a mark to show for it.

Now I'm 19 and have been SI free for about 4? 5? months now. (I lost track! oh no!)

I'm proud. But I was proud then, too.

Idk.


HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYONE!

[dragonfly]

Started when I was 16, been doing it for 8 years.

[time.and.again]

when i first started i would cut my thighs with sissors or a blade...after a while i would cut my hip and wrists to before long i started burning myself and picking and my sick til i would bleed...in the past few months its gotten better but on really bad days i tend to slip...

[~butterfly~]

I've s.i. for a while now.. I used to punch myself and hit myself and hit my head on things. I didn't think much of it. Anyways, last year was the first time I cut and I've gotten worse. but I want to stop just so I can say I have. I want to be proud of my scars because I was able to stop. Not hide them because I still do...

[choco.lover]

I think I started when I was 6,
I used to suck on my skin til it bruised.
Now I'm 12 and I cut and scratch.

[LostEcho]

i have since the age of 13. i still do and i'm over 30 now. i have let up on the frequency that i do it, but it's something that is always in the back of my mind just waiting to come out.

[PrincessInPieces]

I've been hurting myself since I was twelve.
I started with rubbing my skin with mesh until all the skin was gone. Then, I started hitting myself, pulling out my hair, cutting, and burning.
I go through phases of favoring one type of self harm. For six months, I'll love motion burns from mesh and erasers. For a couple weeks, I'll leave bruises all over my body because it heals quicker. I'll pull out my hair for a few days in clumps, and then I'll go for months and months of cutting, and have a really bad night of burning. That's how I work. It's not always the exact same pattern, but I don't do everything all in the same period of time.
I don't cut for emotional reasons, or for a release, or even because I like pain. I'm not sure why I do.

[hopelessly_spinning]

mostly, I just cut. My left forearm is like, chaotic cuts all over the place and overlapping and all different sizes and severity. But my right forearm is for orderly cuts. They're all in nice little lines and all the same size.
Sometimes I put out lit cigarettes on my legs.
Also, I snap rubber bands on my wrists. It started out as a therapy techniuqe, to ween me off cutting, but now it's its own problem. I go through like, 3 rubber bands a day because they'll break from being snapped so hard and frequently. My wrists are covered in bruises and welts.

[randa22]

ive been cutting myself for only about 2 years now. idk how it really got started, i just remember one day getting an urge even after never doing it before, so one day i just did it n ive been doing it ever since. ive gotten better though because when people see the scars they look at me weird because no one would ever expect me to do such a thing. plus my doctor wants to hospitalize me and i cant have that.

[reclaimingkatie]

Love hate relationship...
Going on 14 years...
Started at 10...first just with fingernails....hair pulling, punching, bleeding nails,then scissors, razors, cigarettes...
got worse before it got better...
broke two knuckles... ingested tons of bad things just to cause pain...Headbanging is the worst...
Have been able to stop on and off for months and sometimes a year at a time...
But it never leaves my head...

In the words of E.E.Cummings.
"How do you know I'm hurting if you cannot see my pain?
To wear it on my body tells the words I can't explain..."

The thing is most of my self-harm no-one knows or knew about till WAY after the fact when it was just the scarring...but I guess the poem still applies... the sad thing is it will now always apply....because now I will forever be wearing it on my body ; (

[CrystalTeardrop]

I've cut myself for about a year now...idk about anyone else here, but it's like my only friend now, it's always there for me when nobody else is...it's my punishment, my sanctuary, my get-up-and-go-get-'em...it's everything to me :)

[mustbethin61394]

I have had issues with si and ed since the 4th grade. I started cutting in 7th. Im now in 10th. Ive been hospitalized on numerous occasions. I cut for all of the above. And when i mean cut i don't mean little tiny slices i mean like deep gashes that bleed for hours and need stiches. Im about to post some si recovery pictures on here 2. Nebody got any tips on how to put off urges???

[cl1mb3r]

ive been S.I. since i was 15, its been three years...i went off and on because my mom has found out twice now (stupid hospital visits) so she keeps checking me...i mainly punch walls because she doesnt look at my knuckles to see if theyre bruised. i started by cutting my stomach/hips but that passed to my arms quickly. scars stink, if im not around people who dont care, i have to wear long sleeves...its creepy but i just love the pain and sight of blood, its so calming...

[Roses]

o wow.. i find this rly upsetting :( i hope none of u do anything serious. an if u need to talk sometime i'll allways listen. i have cut before i was trying to do permenent damage.

[euphoria76]

I started cutting when I was man it was sooo long ago I don't really remember but I was a teenager. I quit for a while and this past year I started it again. Never thought I would be cutting again but here I am the age of 33 and cutting again. DAMN!

[sadbutterfly1981]

I have been cutting on and off since i was 14. Im now 28. i do it to relieve stres. i love the rush i get from it. i am trying to stop but it is so hard.

[sadbutterfly1981]

i have been cutting for years on and off. it relieves so much stres....

[funtimesinto]

same here and I quit for like a year and then went back to it.

[sadbutterfly1981]

i have scars all over my thighs. i cut there so it is easier to hide, but my husband sees them and gets so angry with me that i want to cut more. it is so hard to stop once i start.

[sadbutterfly1981]

my husband has threatened to kick me out if i do it again. i don't want that to happen but i just have to cut again.

[choco.lover]

:( That's awful.
He would really do that?

Well, anytime you want to cut, come on this site.
or listen to something so super-happy and annoying. It works for me somehow:)

[sadbutterfly1981]

i think he really would. he said that there would be some big changes and i'm not sure what he meanturl=To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 1 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.]
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[naomi bryant]

I first cut myself age 16 with a craft knife stolen from the art room in school. Then I used to take the blades out of pencil sharpeners and use those. That was now....argh! 10 years ago. The last time I cut was last month. I hadn't in years. I felt so much better afterwards. It's terrible I know. I still look at my thigh and think- stupid bitch. But othertimes it reminds me of how strong I am because of what I've come through. It's a funny old thing. It's nice to be able to put these words out for people to see. People that understand. Xx

[deepheat]

ive been doing this since i was 13 and am now 17. started with scissors i stole from ikea (not originally for cutting) then it was some weird blade from my dads tool box thingy and now i melt the plastic off of razor blades and pull the blades out of it and use them. its the hardest thing in the world to stop:(

[sadbutterfly1981]

i finally feel like i have found a place where there are people that understand me. i've never had that before. i want to thank all of you who are honest voice your true feelings.

[~butterfly~]

i finally feel like i have found a place where there are people that understand me. i've never had that before. i want to thank all of you who are honest voice your true feelings.

*Tw?* (should i even bother putting one on here when we all just posted about our cuts?)
May I say how much better you seriously made my day?
Seriously, you made it SO much better.

I just cut.
Stopped.
Read 'doc's' post.
Wanted to again.
Read yours.
Decided I shouldn't.

Thank you soo much...

[reclaimingkatie]

wow butterfly! Awesome... I was sad to hear that, that idiot upset you so much... so I am happy you felt better after reading stuff here ; )

Hope you have a good night....

[iliketurtles]

First self harmed when I was about 15. Stopped pretty much completely between the ages of 17 and 19, and then a bad break up triggered me. I used to just cut but I when I took it up again I started biting and burning myself. Up til a couple of weeks ago I hadn't done it in months, have had two episodes of it since-both involving alcohol.

I'm not going to explain my reasons for it because I'm afraid it might be a bit triggering.

[Nyxe]

I started at 12, now i'm 16
i stopped 1 yar ago but started again as a self-punish for eating..
i just can't stop

[FrailAngel]

I started when I was 12 and I'm almost 16 now.. I mostly just cut myself or dig my nails into my skin or old cuts until they start bleeding. Sewing scissors are my favourite thing to use because they are so sharp.

[sadbutterfly1981]

i have really been fighting the urge to cut. i watched my family mourn over the death of the man who molested me for years all last week. i hated him and was glad to see him die. i thought that the urge to cut would die with him but instead seeing others mourn him makes me want to cut more.........

[emerley]

I dont understand !
Isn't it like, really painful ?
And i would never be able to cut my self i'm too scared of the pain it will cause !
Stinging, acheing, bleeding !
Tell me x

[Miss Jacinta]

I've 'injured' myself without leaving a mark since I was 7 or so. But in the past year I've started to cut occasionally or sratch myself with my nails. Two of my friends know, they used to cut but they stoped. It's hard because if either of them find out they hit me over the head and make me do something (like eat a fattening lunch, write out lines "I will not self-harm again", something I really don't like). To make it worse they know how to tell.

Oops... a bit of a life story starting there.

Basically, I do it for the pain. I don't do it as a release, not usually. I do it as punishment sometimes for eating more than my limit, othertimes just because I feel like being in pain.

[silentxrainxdrops]

I dont understand !
Isn't it like, really painful ?
And i would never be able to cut my self i'm too scared of the pain it will cause !
Stinging, acheing, bleeding !
Tell me x

that's kinda the point
you'd actually be suprised at how deep some people can cut without feeling anything. after you've been doing it for awhile, you develop a strong tolerance and need to cut deeper just to feel even a little pain

[whyeatwenucanbthin?]

i started cutting when i was about ten years old...i took a blade out of a pencil sharpener and cut my arm about 20-30 times.after my parents found out when they saw scars about half a year later.i was in therapy for 2 years before i was claimed to be "cured" and "over" cutting.i am now thirteen and my parents have all but forgotten my cutting...

[iliketurtles]

if you drink alcohol does this make you bleed more

Yes, and you have less of an idea how deep it is. Is tempting, and this advice is useless, but wait til tomorrow


that's kinda the point
you'd actually be suprised at how deep some people can cut without feeling anything. after you've been doing it for awhile, you develop a strong tolerance and need to cut deeper just to feel even a little pain

+1. I can do things to myself that sound trivial; like biting myself til it leaves a bruise, but not everyone can do it. I like to leave marks, real ones that last, I still have favourite scars from five years ago. But I don't wish it on anyone

[Heather514]

i started to self injur right after i was molested around 10 years old. i've been self harming ever since then, which amounts to 8 years now.

[Rachael]

I started cutting when I was 15. My friend did it as a way of relief so I thought it might be a great outlett for my overwhelming emotions... it was... it was waaaay to good of one. I cut and cut until I wound up in th hospital for 17 months. Blah. That sucked! I backed way off after I came home. But never stopped. I was 17 by that time. I was almost 16 when i started. These last 4 years have been horrible and it seems I do nothing but cut and deal with eating issues. Not sure thearpy is doing the trick. But I guess i.m better with it than without it...