A question :]

[Missalyssalove]

Well basically, I'm new and I just wanted to say how much I admire all of you!!
I have been feeling like this for a while but I've just started to actual become anorexic,I don't know if that makes any sense :]

Anyways, I was wondering if Jello was a sufficent thing to eat.
For example;;
I'll eat one 10 calorie cup of jello in the morning
drink loads of water
then for lunch I'll eat an orange,2 baby carrots,2-3 slices of cucumber,and a couple bites of salad,more water
then for dinner I'll eat jello. :]
Am I even on the right track,eating wise?
I am so lost about this,haha.
I could really use some feedback,thanks so much! :]
<3

[__kerosinx]

no one here wants to make you become eating disordered, i believe we are all here for eachother for support through our eating disorders...not for tips or tricks on how to become thing quickly.


you don't begin to become a 'proper' anorexic...its a mental illness, a disease...not a fad diet.

i dont mean to be rude at all to you, and i know im new here like yourself..but ive been a member of lots of other forums and the whole point of these forums is for support.

[pinkprincessbelle]

no one here wants to make you become eating disordered, i believe we are all here for eachother for support through our eating disorders...not for tips or tricks on how to become thing quickly.


you don't begin to become a 'proper' anorexic...its a mental illness, a disease...not a fad diet.

i dont mean to be rude at all to you, and i know im new here like yourself..but ive been a member of lots of other forums and the whole point of these forums is for support.

absolutely! U don't just suddenly become anorexic! It's in your mind and it is a horrible, horrible mental disorder! Please don't aspire to it! I don't want anyone to feel or have what is going on in my head everday and for years now!

[Professorana]

As much as we all sound loyal to ana and we all stay comitted to ana, it's got us in just as tight a grip. It's a mental disorder that one dosen't choose for oneself. It's a private mental hell that we go through every time we have to sit down to a meal with friends and family. It's secretive purging and self torture and self hatred. Why would you invite that on yourself? You might pick up anorectic patterns of eating from us but you know as well as I do that it's not proper eating and it's NOT proper nutrition. The cycles of ana, starvation, food (which we call a binge but in normal world it's not a binge at all--for example, i "binge" on tomatoes). And then after the binge more self enforced starvation and fasting. Please don't look here for dieting tips this is not the right place and if you have a lovely, healthy mind---don't pollute it here.

[Missalyssalove]

oh dear,I knew I didn't word that correctly.
I guess what I meant is that I've been constantly fighting the urge to just give in to it and finally it's got me.I know for years it's always been in the back of my mind.My mother was an anorexic,and living with her doesn't help my situation much.I've been consumed with even the thought of eating,it repulses me to my core and too be honest the other day it just hit me. I looked at my self and was basicaly like "you're a lard ass." I understand it's not a "fad diet" it's a disease,that many people suffer from.I did a project on it for class,I do know a lot about it from that. But, now I know the emotional/psychological aspect of it. I was just looking for some tips to keep something down,like stated before, I am repulsed by food I just vomit it back up.
Sorry for the misunderstanding! :]
<3

[pinkprincessbelle]

No worries! Welcome sweets!:)

[Professorana]

We're here for you. Just don't want you get sick if you're not. We're not the best place for healthy people to hang out--that's all. Welcome!

[ella_bella]

I know where you're all coming from saying that you don't just become an anorexic but I think I know where this girl is coming from though.

Restricting started as a conscious thing for me and gradually, subconsciously got worse and then one day I realised that I couldn't rationally control what I ate anymore if you see what I mean and that's a difficult thing to try and explain to people if you find it hard to put it into words.

I'd be surprised if any of us actually got up one morning and after having been a normal eater our entire lives, decided that day that we were going to stop eating. It crept up on me. Maybe that's where she's coming from and we're all just giving her a hard time?

[pinkprincessbelle]

It so creeps up on you! Don't admire us please missy! I'm ashamed of the way I am but it is so comforting being this way and I have control.:(

[Professorana]

I was always an overweight girl who sprouted hips and boobs far too quickly. The consequences of forcing a consciousness of my own sexuality at the age of 9 were just too much for me. Men, feeling me up, playing footsie with me, my math teacher stroking my thighs, rubbing my back and feeling for bra straps--all just got to me. I started to diet--I wanted my boobs to go away (still do, I hate boobs) but didn't start purging until I was in my late teens. I recovered for a short while, then the mia got much worse until all I was doing every single day was binging and purging--I developed all sorts of really ingenious ways to get up the most vomit. I recovered again and went vegan. Calorie restriction crept up on me just like you are saying, Ella, and suddenly I was down to 200 cals a day and loving it. I was tiny--imagine a 6 foot 3 (in heels) with long blonde hair, wearing an xsmall. I hated what I was doing to myself but I loved the power I find in starvation and restriction. There actually is a particular phenomenon that has a name (can't remember) where dieters become anorexic over time.

[blackrose918]

I was one of those dieters too...I set out to lose a healthy amount of weight over 3 months and dropped a 3 months worth of weight in 1.5 months...I wasnt even that fat to begin with and now no matter what size I am I am never happy with what I see. My friends keep telling me to stop being so self conscious but I can't help it. I hate shopping because of it and it makes me want cry when they force me to try clothes on that reveal my body/shape. I hate it, mainly because the ones doing it are really small people who can get into small sizes and there I am taller than them with my larger size. I have to agree with Ella also. It just creeps up on you and you just have to deal with it. Does anyone else wish they could just think of themselves like most girls do? Just to be able to sit and eat a normal meal without worrying about weight, calories, restriction or binges? I do. But I love bones too much to give it up. I love that feeling of my hips when they stick out as I lay down or my collarbones. I think people know though because I made a sculpture of a woman's figure with all her bones sticking out really really thin and put it on exhibition and my friends seen it and got kinda suss.

[Ram90011]

I agree with you blackrose. I just want to be comfortable with myself and happy, and even though I'm not "fat" I'm not what I want to be. It doesn't matter what anyone tells me, if I'm not happy then I'm gonna try and change myself. I get happy when I put on a pair of jeans and I can still feel my hip bones when I walk. I just want the fat to go away. If I didn't get bigger when I ate regularly I would. But since I don't I will deal with not eating.

[amr3149]

I feel like it crept up on me as well, however; the only thing that brought my attention to it was other people's observations. Does anyone else ever wonder what that's all about?? I think it's kind of an eye of the beholder thing, I guess. I mean, what if no one else had ever pointed out to me how odd my dietary habits were?

[Ram90011]

Then you possibly wouldn't have noticed. My meals and what I ate throughout the day just kept getting smaller and smaller until I don't have to eat anything throughout the day. I realized what I doing, but at the same time wasn't overly obsessed. I mean it's a part of who I am and accepted it. It's harder to handle when people are looking at you and asking things. Now it's an obsession just to make sure no one finds out what I'm doing. If I lived alone and didn't have to see my friends everyday, I think dealing with ana would be a lot easier. Not saying that it's a good thing or hard, but i'd have an easier time coping with it on my own.

[pinkprincessbelle]

I know I feel like everyone is looking at me but you thrive on the "ur too skinny" remarks! What is with that!