I'm not so sure about anything anymore

[suicidalsamantha]

One.
Kayla words cant even explain how much I miss you! January 15th, the day we first started dating. I'm dreading it so much. It's going on a year since you died, and it's only getting harder. Fuck who ever said that it only gets easier as time goes on. And without you baby girl, I'm nothing right now.

Two.
Kieran oh boy I love you. But this pain you're causing me is unbearable.

Three.
Suicide suicide suicide. You're haunting me! I want to kill myself so bad. To the point I'm chugging water so my veins are so full that they just leak out. I've got it planned out, to a T. And I don't know. I've given all the warning signs to my mother, but I'm guessing she either doesnt care or doesnt want to notice. But mommy please my silent cry should be the loudest.

[Roses]

i hope u can remember that time is a great healer an ppl, they don't have to be the closest to u it can be anyone, like me :) are there to listen to u an give as much help as they can.. u must be feeling awful, i'm sure ur mum would listen if u told her how it is. i know things can eat away at u when it's all u can think about an u think no one will care, but they will care.. some ppl are jus blind till it's out in the open.. send me a message if u need to talk i'll be happy to hear ur ok
xoxo

[amybronwyn]

please dont do anything stupid. suicide might seem like a way out, but its not. things WILL get better hun, maybe not right now, but what doesnt kill us makes us stronger. im pretty sure wanting to kill yourself and pulling through it deffinitly comes under that.
if you ever need someone to talk im here. i dont judge, im just a shoulder to cry on =]
xx

[suicidalsamantha]

Thanks guys.
But suicide thoughts come with the depression.
They've been here since I was 9 :/