sarah-charlotte
11-03-2008, 04:04 AM
hi all, im sarah-charlotte a 22 year old formerly recovered anorexic who sold out and got better (that means fat!). at my lowest i was 90lbs - it was amazing, like walking on air! now iv been averaging 115! iv been miserable with my weight for over a year now but since recovery i just found it so hard to stay in control of my food, they say once u stop ana u stop caring and suddenly your weight is not important - u can say it doesn't matter just don't look in any mirrors, don't wear tight clothes ect. its bull shit, iv tried for a year now and still ana is in my head, god how i miss it. once u have passed you maximum weight its as though there is no way back-u know exactly how hard it was to get to a reasonable weight before the main drop. it just seemed impossible. iv been looking for an excuse to slip back for ages and two weeks ago i got it - i came down with laryngitis (again) and now my excess fat has gone and i can see my rib bones again for the first time in a long time, i cant go back to being fat, this is a gift and I'm grabbing it with both hands - IM BACK. i live away from my interfering family now so no daily guilt trip for me, now first things first, i need to fetch my scales and books down from the attic at home and work out a plan. my goal is to be 6 and a half stone for Christmas, now i just need to make myself remember all the tricks of the trade, and catch up on any i missed. its good to be back.xxxxxxx