have you ever felt...

[violet_sky]

that you want to recover so much, but you can't tell anyone that you need help because they might think you're not "ill" enough?

:(

[Vision Thing]

Yes. I felt if I said anything to anyone they'd just laugh in my face. The first person I told knows a few people with EDs so they don't really care/seem to see the negativity in it, and the other person I told hasn't mentioned it since and is ignoring me. So I guess my advice is it's easier not to tell.

[fwyzing]

Yes.


It seems no one would care because I'm obviously not "sick" because i'm still a disgusting pig.
But that's just me.

I'm sick of this hell, but there's nothing I can do but get thin and quit whining about it.

[giftedheart]

I have told only one other person. Well, actually I gave her enough information she can figure it out. But we have never discussed it outright. My ED is a "dirty little secret" that I keep hidden away from preying eyes and anxious ears. I never use words like, "purge, binge, ED, thinspiration, Ana, Mia, etc" to guard my self from disclosure. My biggest fear is someone will find out and then I have no hope of reaching my goals. It really is not a matter of IF i will be exposed, but, WHEN. I will leave a trail of puke or forget the wrappers in the trash or be asked to explain why I have baking soda in my locker at work, in my car. Someone will notice my pattern of bathroom breaks, my puffy cheeks, red face, smell vomit on my breath, something will be amiss and then... ?

[twink12]

to be honest if yo are determined enough to get help you will think f*** what peple think I am doing this for me not them'... yeah of course it will ALWAYS feel liek you are not ill enough.. but then I bet you've always felt you're not thin enough? As long as you do it for yourself that is all that matters sweetie. if you need any help I am here :) xx

[covermeup]

Thats why I joined this forum, i told two people, and both of them just say "well then stop"

not that fucking easy. anyways I'm trying to do self recovery a few more times and if that doesn't work then I don't know.

[shadowgirl]

YES! :(

I know the kind of people I'm surrounded with..! They won't help. They will just hurt me by saying mean stuff or by judging me!! Not telling them is a very wise and responsible thing.. Don't you think??

Love
xoxo

[icebite]

Everyone thinks they're not "sick enough". It's part of the disease. You can see it very clearly in IP settings, everyone thinks the same, "oh everybody is looking at me like I shouldnt be here, I dont deserve to be here with real anorexics(bulimics/whatever) I'm just a fraud, gosh I am not really sick and everyone thinks I should just go on with my life."
But it's not true. I can sit and look at some disgustingly emaciated girl (like, bmi 8) and wonder how she got that far, why didnt anyone stop her and why didnt she stop herself. At the same time she's looking at me thinking "oh gosh, that girl is staring at me because I'm so fat. I wish I was sick for real, like her."

[Secret-Obsession]

I felt this way before I told my friend. And I actually restricted more a couple of days before I saw her. And I wore what I call my 'skinny clothes' so I would look skinnier. These are my skinny jeans, a long fitted tshirt thing and my long coral cardigan that's real fitted. lol! Weird ae! Like I needed to prove myself or something??
I was so scared that she'd think I was just saying it to get attention or something. But she took it really well!! She was so lovely about it!!

You've just gotta make sure you choose wisely about who you tell.
xxx

[snarko]

YES all counts: my former eating disorder, alcohol, and smoking. "Then just stop." Yeah, right. I heard that one as recently as two weeks ago. Made me want to drink and spit it at them. Easy for you, party girl. Not me.

I swear the only people who understand addictions (I'm calling thin an addiction here) are other (former) addicts. Few else gets that it's both physical and mental, and not as easy as all that.

I personally only broke my ED by breaking the chain of the cause of it: getting away from my over-bearing insane mother, thus taking control over OTHER aspects of my life, not just food (and threw away the scale so I couldn't measure). But it still took years to get her voice out of head, to stop bashing myself, and get any better.

Actually, I still bash myself. Why I'm here.

[averageguy]

YES all counts: my former eating disorder, alcohol, and smoking. "Then just stop." Yeah, right. I heard that one as recently as two weeks ago. Made me want to drink and spit it at them. Easy for you, party girl. Not me.

I swear the only people who understand addictions (I'm calling thin an addiction here) are other (former) addicts. Few else gets that it's both physical and mental, and not as easy as all that.

I personally only broke my ED by breaking the chain of the cause of it: getting away from my over-bearing insane mother, thus taking control over OTHER aspects of my life, not just food (and threw away the scale so I couldn't measure). But it still took years to get her voice out of head, to stop bashing myself, and get any better.

Actually, I still bash myself. Why I'm here.

Excellent progress, and I'm glad to hear you've found one of the confounding factors of the ED you used to have ;)