Jacklinger
12-27-2009, 01:19 AM
So far, still no binges. Continuing to lose weight and continuing to restrict.
I'm now eating almost nothing unless food is offered to me. I ate one meal per day through the xmas holidays because it's impossible to get away from family who want to eat something with you. But the other days, I'm down to half a cup of milk in the morning, and a small meaty sandwhich, or something similar, around 4:00 pm, and that's it. That's about 400 cal total.
The hunger can get pretty severe some times. I remember that professional interrogaters often use starvation to break prisoners. It certainly works because I find myself wanting to tell random strangers my whole life story (good thing I have this forum instead).
Most days I feel depressed, but I was depressed before the diet too, so the way I figure... might as well lose weight while being depressed instead of gaining.
I remain confident that this time the weight loss will be permanent. I've never gone this long without binging before.
But I still don't know how I'll deal with feeling hungry for the rest of my life. I remain under a delusion that one day I'll get to eat again and make the hunger stop. But that's what I was doing when I weighed 300 pounds. I can't do that or I'll die. Starve, or die.
But if our ancestors could starve, and still find the energy to go dancing, play games, sing, and be happy, then I think I can too.
I'm now eating almost nothing unless food is offered to me. I ate one meal per day through the xmas holidays because it's impossible to get away from family who want to eat something with you. But the other days, I'm down to half a cup of milk in the morning, and a small meaty sandwhich, or something similar, around 4:00 pm, and that's it. That's about 400 cal total.
The hunger can get pretty severe some times. I remember that professional interrogaters often use starvation to break prisoners. It certainly works because I find myself wanting to tell random strangers my whole life story (good thing I have this forum instead).
Most days I feel depressed, but I was depressed before the diet too, so the way I figure... might as well lose weight while being depressed instead of gaining.
I remain confident that this time the weight loss will be permanent. I've never gone this long without binging before.
But I still don't know how I'll deal with feeling hungry for the rest of my life. I remain under a delusion that one day I'll get to eat again and make the hunger stop. But that's what I was doing when I weighed 300 pounds. I can't do that or I'll die. Starve, or die.
But if our ancestors could starve, and still find the energy to go dancing, play games, sing, and be happy, then I think I can too.