cateka
10-03-2008, 04:35 AM
I shit you not, there is a bottle of sleeping pills in my bathroom and I can't escape the idea of necking every single one of them. All thats stopping me is that my cousin is staying with me because one of her best friends just killed himself and she needs some support, I can't burden her with another suicide.
I was about 7st 8lb a few weeks ago and I looked awsome, no bones sticking out or anything but I was so slim and it was making me so confident. Recently I've had a really stressful time - college work is getting a little hard to handle and there is this woman bullying me at work. I don't want to report her because it will just make things worse and I don't want to quit my job because I love it. All this stress has made me fall out of my exercising/eating routine and now I've put on... wait for it... 10 pounds! I look hideous, so fucking hideous, I can't believe I let myself get to this, I started bingeing and purging but now and then I don't have time to throw the food up, and sometimes I would throw up like 7 times a day and eventually just collapse, still leaving some food in my stomache. I look so ugly and so fucking FAT. I can't even have sex with my boyfriend anymore because I'm so hideous. I have to wear all these baggy clothes to cover it up, and my face is always bloated, red and ugly because of the purgeing.
Please help me, help me get back into it. Give me some advice, any advice, I'm seriously going to take my fucking life if I don't loose some weight soon...
I was about 7st 8lb a few weeks ago and I looked awsome, no bones sticking out or anything but I was so slim and it was making me so confident. Recently I've had a really stressful time - college work is getting a little hard to handle and there is this woman bullying me at work. I don't want to report her because it will just make things worse and I don't want to quit my job because I love it. All this stress has made me fall out of my exercising/eating routine and now I've put on... wait for it... 10 pounds! I look hideous, so fucking hideous, I can't believe I let myself get to this, I started bingeing and purging but now and then I don't have time to throw the food up, and sometimes I would throw up like 7 times a day and eventually just collapse, still leaving some food in my stomache. I look so ugly and so fucking FAT. I can't even have sex with my boyfriend anymore because I'm so hideous. I have to wear all these baggy clothes to cover it up, and my face is always bloated, red and ugly because of the purgeing.
Please help me, help me get back into it. Give me some advice, any advice, I'm seriously going to take my fucking life if I don't loose some weight soon...