Just thinking....

[ThinnerWinz]

I don't know wether this is a vent or what, but as of now...I am letting my fingers take control. I wish...I wish that I could go back and change some of my mistakes...not even all of them. I want to make my daddy proud...I want to have my stepmother brag about me to her friends.. I look in the mirror and the fat here and the roll there just make me feel like all my hard work in other areas of my life are worthless. Unless I show self control I will lose me forever in this heap of lard that has surrounded my body and has begun it's way to my soul... I wish my son were here. I wish I could hold him and smell his scent..I'm lonley...I'm afraid. I sometimes question God "Why did you wake me this morning?" No answer I can't really say I truly believe...I know someone is out there but who? I wonder will I ever be 103lbs again...will I let myself go to 230lbs again..hell no!!!

Only fat whorez get sad.....So as of now I'm no longer thinking on sadness. I will fab and thin...I will wear crazy priced clothing because they come in My size. I will make fun of fat chicks and dudes and maybe they wll see the error of they ways. I will be determined, I will try harder than I did the last time, and the time after that. I will study my thinspo...I will turn magazine pages until I have paper cuts...I will fast, I will.....will....I will...I will be beautiful

[Night-butterfly]

That sounds great =) you can do it! Believe in yourself and that will make you stronger.
I feel with you... I don't know where I'm going, but i will get control again =)

:)