Wellll i guess everyone was right when they said i would relapse...

[brainDamage13]

so last summer i went inpatient for anorexia and chemical dependency, i was in the hospital for over a month and a few months after i got out i completely got over my eating disorder, i was thin but healthy and had fun and everything and i promised myself id never relapse again.

but recently ive been gaining TOO much weight and ive just been getting bored of life and shit n i just wanna be skinny again and feel my bones and have something to be proud of

my mom just bought me size ***edit**jeans and they fit but theyre pretty tight, EW. i dont know how much i weigh because my scale says ***edit**but i know if i was really ***edit**i wouldnt look so fat and id be able to fit into a size ***edit**!

stats:
i just turned 16 last week
height: 5'3.5 or 5'4
***edit**

i dont want to be ***edit**again im just sick of being HUGE!
i need to lose this weight FAST! im just going to ***edit** lbs but i have no way to weigh myself because my scale is messed up :(

[brainDamage13]

also i forgot to add, i hate it when guys look at me i mean im ugly and i have small boobs even tho i am fat but still some guys do, and i was raped last year and i dont want a boyfriend or anything because im too embarassed of how i look and also i just dont feel like it and guys are PIGS