self-injury

[rowyn]

I cut, today was write love on you arms day, anyway, a few of my friends (3 out of 6) knew about it already, how many people cut would you say? why can't i ever fit in with 'normal' people? :(

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[JustDance]

I cut. Not all the time but when things get bad I always turn to it.

I know exactly what you mean when you ask why you can fit in with 'normal' people. I feel the same way.

[Jacklinger]

I used to cut when I was younger. I still have the scars.

[bulimic/alcoholic]

I cut. I have scars on my wrists, my legs and my tummy. I have been better about it lately because my bf gets really upset, but i used to love it. I would find anything to to scratch myself and draw blood. It was as if i was bleeding out my pain.. but at the same time.. i deserved the pain.

[nathrakh]

I cut often aswell, mainly on my wrists, lower arms as they are most easy to acces. Sometimes i have cutted my face aswell, as that is the ultimate punishment.

[jojiobi]

I cut, often when Iget down in my bad memories or when i get anxious. It's like all the negative emotion leaks out just enough for me to regain my sanity. People think you just decide to do it because you're bored butfor me its cut or kill myself and I usually want to live. It pisses me off that my mom treats me like some some ungrateful wretch after she searches me to find the scars on my legs and my hands. I try not to be obvious. But whatever. You're not alone. Its a differnet kind of normal for me

[nathrakh]

I hate it that people say u cut to get attention. While i only cut to make myself feel better.

[Roses]

i'd say jus be rly careful,, u don't want to cut in the wrong place.. :S

[insomnia]

I hate of injuring our own self it is a very wrong idea...we should be bold to face anything...i just plz you all for not doing this..

[everett]

ive done it about 7-8 times. it was when i was really emotional. i dont deal that well with emotions and i was really sad/angry. i did it on the inside of my ankles and cut cross hatches with a razor blade i broke apart. it helped each time i did it, but i havent done it in about 8 months. i doubt i will continue because my best friend hates it when i do it because she used to really badly.

[Valkry]

I cut. It makes me feel SO much better - never cut to kill, though sometimes god knows I FEEL like it. I have love to live for now though.

I've cut my arms up and have some scarring as a result, but can't now because everyone thinks I've stopped and they'll throw me in the hospital if I do it again. Prime example of this is a month ago when I secretly cut my legs and stomach up but the dear boyfriend saw, called my parents, and off I was back to the psych ward. Just got out and still feel like cutting. Wish I could, but I can't anymore. No privacy. *sigh*

[TheColorJulia]

I cut big X's on the parts of me I want to change.....

I also cut words into me.....

Everytime I want to eat, I press down on the cuts...

I just started doing this. It's one of the things that no one knows about.. There are a select few that know about my ED.. Not the cutting though.

[Static]

I started seriously cutting when I was about 12. Before that (and up until I was about 17) I would play with fire-- candles, campfires, lighters, matches, lit cigarettes-- & often burned myself intentionally. I got sent to counselors all through primary/elementary school.
It was all minor stuff back then, though, I recall ever causing myself serious intentional injury until I was in my early teens... I kept that up til I was 19-20 & most of my body is covered in scars. Like layers upon layers of scartissue-- it will never look normal on my forearms/stomach/chest/thighs/biceps. I tried wearing short sleeves in public this past summer, and I felt like a total circus freak with the way everyone, everywhere would either stare, or make a point of looking away. Maybe a handful of people who didn't.
I limited myself to cigarette burns for about a year, and then for the past year I've only slipped up once or twice.
Now I'm relapsing again, though. Like I'm carrying blades around in my backpack & putting cigarettes out where no one will notice the burns (like my ankles where they're covered from socks/boots).

I missed it. I know I's fucked up, but it just feels so necessary.

[skylines]

I cut my feet all the time, nobody ever looks at my feet.

I remember one day, this past summer when I had binged, and was so ANGRY at myself for fucking up. I used pliers to break the plastic on my shaving razor and pull out the individual blades and had a field day all over my legs. it was crosshatching all over the place and I carved the word "FAT" into my thigh. it scarred.

[choco.lover]

I cut, and have them on my right arm from my wrist to my shoulder. It makes me feel better but then I get mad at myself for making my skin ugly... life's confusing:(

[with_my_feelings]

I cut on my upper thigh - Only one of my friends know. I started Jan 31 2009 and I have 51 scars. My problem is that I don't cut that often but I cut really deep and once I start I keep going on the same cut until blood pours down my leg. I haven't cut for 4 weeks but I know that I will have to let it all out again soon. It's definitely not an attention-seeking thing for everyone. It helps me release the pressure within and I love seeing the healing process taking place. Even though I can't fight back against the world and win, I can fight against myself and be healed. lol, I'm feeling so depressed at the moment I want to DIE :o

[maanen]

I cut.
I managed to stop cutting for a very short while, and then I slipped, and it went on just as bad..
Right now I have approximately 150 cuts on my thighs and my left arm. And even more scars.

[Static]

I'm not even pissed off at myself that I've started treating myself like an ashtray again.
See, what stopped me for the past 6 months or so, at least, was that I wouldn't be able to hide it from everyone... I mean, even if I managed to conceal this shit from everyone else, it would just come down to the fact that there was nowhere on my body I could keep secret from my girlfriend.

But, you know. Now that she's my ex-girlfriend, I've got a perfectly-spaced line of circles where I put my cigarettes out on my arm.

I don't think I'll bother with cutting much, strangely. The craving just doesn't call for it this time.

[perfectdoll]

I do, spasmodically, whenever the rows between my mum and myself become so frustrating and repressive I can't go anywhere... then, I cut: clean slices with razors along my left arm (I'm right-handed) or on my ankles. I also head bang... my mum's seen me do this and she just screamed at me to carry on :(

I think I've mentioned it to one of my best friends, and my sister knows... but it's a topic that's never really been discussed. You're all so right about feeling out of place with "normal" people... like, no one upon meeting me would guess I'm fucked up because I get so many things "right" in life... I don't come across as an ED/self-injurer/suicidal/depressive/angry creature... quite the opposite :( My tutor was like "but you always seem so smiley and bubbly"... yeah, that's so easy....

It's definitely not for attention. When people said "what are those!" when they saw by accident, I told them it was the pet rabbit........ it's definitely a way of letting out the pain and frustration. I get screamed at if I slam doors when I'm angry :(... so what other way can I release my anger?

@with_my_feelings: good point! I forget how lovely it is to see the healing... though the scars will remain.

PD xx

[musicstreet25]

I kinda understand, kinda not, ive only cut like 6 times, but I see the scars when i'm feeling better and think wtf did I do but then every time I get upset its immediately what I think about, nothing else matters, idk hat else to do to get the anger out, I usually have to leave my room where i don't have anything to do it with, i didn't realize how addicting it was after only a few times.

I panicked the other day because i cut my feet and had to have my ankle looked at, luckily it was the other foot and he didn't reference the cut one but still, I need to think about that next time, i'm a super slow healer.

[amybronwyn]

i used to cut, but about a week ago i was havn a couple spots and i was so upset i piked up the knife and pressed it into my skin. i left a white kinov blistery line?? i looked like a healing cut.
i have a friend who knows that i was cutting but who i havnt seen in a coupd weeks. i told him it was an old cut that ws healing and that i regreted it. he believed it... i now have burn lines frm heating p a knfe with a lighter down my forearm, across my left wrist, and 7 tiny 1cm long ones in a line on my hand.

it makes me feel like just for a second, im back in control of things. any anyways, i deserve the pain...