clothes

[Static]

AUGH.
I can't even get dressed without feeling like I want to just bash my head against the wall. 'cause I look at my clothes and I'm like... well, the baggy things make me look lumpy and stupid, the tight things make me look fat and stupid, nothing seems to fit properly EVER, and when I go to buy new clothes I end up putting everything back because even if it fits perfect and looks good, I see the size on it and I'm like, "yeah, but I'm not going to stay at this weight so what's the point in wasting my money?"
and my brother wants to buy me these really nice jeans from his work and he's like "so is it this size or this size?" and I'm actually right in the middle, one's a little big and the other is a little tight. if I get the ones that are a little big, then they'll end up like all my other cool clothes which are useless because they're too big, and if I get the smaller ones then I'll feel revolting and slobby and afraid to wear them.

and the only thing that I have which seems acceptable at all are these cargo shorts & a black long sleeve shirt with sleeveless hoodie. Thing is, though, I live in the rainiest goddamn city and even wearing my steel toe boots it gets effing cold wandering around in shorts. so then I attack myself over that because at least if it's cold I'm burning more energy to keep warm...

and it just goes in these stupid vicious cycles like everything else ED related and sometimes I just want to stay in the shower for the rest of my life so I don't have to deal with clothes or food or anything.

I hate everything. >:|

[janey]

HELLO, ME.

i do this in cycles too, when i try to shop for new clothes it always goes terribly and i go home 10x more depressed and empty handed. otherwise i'll buy the smaller size and be like yep i'll fit into this soon. then spiral into depression cos it never fits. i havent bought clothes in aaages cos i keep thinking 'no i'll just lose weight then i can fit my old clothes...' subsequently leaving me with very limited choices. so i just wear all my random singlets and the same 2 pairs of shorts everyday. luckily it's summer here heh, so shorts and tshirts are a go. which in itself is stressful and crap -_-

blahhhhhh fuck it. i cant decide whether i want to be seen or not.

[shbzz]

i have been thru this im so sorry it sucks!!!!
i lost 40lbs in 2 months over the summer and spent it wearing sweats becuz all my jeans became FAR to baggy to ever consider wearing
i spent a lot of time looking for new clothes and sometimes i used to buy clothes that were to small so i would feel compelled to lose more weight
after a lil time the small fit then the xsmall..
im 5 ft 11 and i remember looking for jeans at hollister since id got to about 108 at the time and the clerk telling me how lucky i was to be looking for size 1 and 0 long jeans
no luck turns out long doesnt start until size 3
but im glad i kept my original wardrobe since my glory days have long since ended and i had to gain a bunch of weight
now my old jeans have become tight :(

[saryndipitous]

On the one hand, I love it when my jeans are baggy, because that is my main measure of success since I don't have a scale :( But then I start to worry because people will notice my clothes aren't fitting and make me eat. Once I threw out a pair of jeans since they were so small and I would never fit in them again. But then after developing my ED I wish I had kept them. ::sigh::

[sjgirl]

i hate clothes shopping, it always makes me feel so fat to see those tiny jeans that i dont fit into YET