relationsip problems caused by ED

[Gaja]

hey, i have a problem and maybe somebody here have been thro this ...
I live with my boyfriend, we have been together for 3 months and knew eachother over a year , we really klicked and moved in together. He knew from beggining i have Ed. He tries to help but he gest mad/sad/dissapointed/ frustrated and so on when i go to bathroom to purge after eating or refuse to eat.
We fight a lot because of that and he tells me i dont need to lose weigth and so on and i tell him how i see things and he gets even more sad and mad.
Once we fighted so much we almost broke up and i started packing my bags allready but we worked it out.
I dont want this to happen again and im geting scared ill lose him and hes a really great and caring guy. I dont want to lie to him that i eat and hide when i throw up.
What should i do ? He said he wants to help but now hes not sure if he can handle this, he even said he feels like he wasted 2 months trying to help me and i just dont seem to listen and still throw up...
i feel so sad...should i break up so he can be happy, should we talk...what should i do ?
Thnx for all the help...
//Gaja

[dutThede73]

Can I ask why you let your OH dictate what you do....you should be partners should you not?

[twink12]

I can understand exactly where you are coming from you have to ask yourself something.... do you want to stop doing what you are doing?
Your partner obviously cares for you very much and the only reason for his frustration is that the person he has such strong feelings for is hurting herself. It will be hard... I know... I'm in the same boat but my gf accepts that it is a problem.. and I'm starting to see that becauseobviously living togetehr means you're around each other a lot too so just sit and talk to him about the situation, explain how much he means to you, that its not something you do for fun, but as a way of helping yourself. xxxxxxx

[tuffghost]

I know EXACTLY what youre going through. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and in September we moved into a house share. The first few weeks were amazing, but then I started to work full time and he went back to uni full time, so after slaving away at work I was always desperate to see him and the slightest thing would make me disappointed and flip. I felt like everything I was doing was for him, and I slowly started getting really paranoid about why he wasnt desperate to see me. Everytime I felt unhappy I would scream the house down crying, and became prone to panic attacks. I told him about my ED about 6 months ago and he was very supportive, but also told me he kind of knew all along. Anyways things progressed and got much worse we were always arguing and I'd end up crying nearly every day and feeling sorry for myself. He'd always try and make me eat and be very strict but I couldnt help saying no to him the more he tried to push me to do something the more I wouldnt. It came to the conclusion of him saying he cant do it anymore and that Im not the girl he knew, that its making me lose myself. It absolutely killed me but after hours of crying I got really stubborn, gave him what he wanted. I would regularly be walking out after an argument across town with him following/ chasing me. Anyways he threatened to tell my parents if I didnt(about my ED), so I HAD to tell them. Within 5 hours of me telling them, I was on my way back to my home town (the other side of the country!), left my full time job and moved back in with my parents. I feel useless now, like all my independance has gone, but also since having a little break from my boyfriend we decided to break up, but couldnt go through with it. Im seeing him as much as I possibly can and its almost like he feels the same way as I did; desperate to see me. He's still very strict and he's got a communication going on with my mum which I hate, but for the time, I'm home for treatment. I hope everything goes ok with your boyfriend, maybe you need a little time off?