You're ugly... wait, I'm not?

[whatstolifebutobsession]

It's not so much that I think I'm ugly, I just think I have a really boring look, and no matter how I dress, or do my make-up I am boring and visually have nothing going for me. I didn't use to think this way, in fact, it's really started up largely within the past 3 months. Yet, within these 3 months, I've heard from more people, males and females alike, that I have a unique and naturally beautiful look. What? This is silly. First off, what compels them to say that? and Second, why /now/? I do a pretty good job at not /seeming/ underconfident, whether I am or not, so as far as I know my attitude has not changed much, and my looks have hardly changed except that I chopped a lot of my hair off and dyed it red, but frankly, I think it's made me look like a drab boy. Oh, and I moved from a boring midwest state to California, but come on. California is filled with beautiful people. If anything, I should get way less positive attention.

What is going on? Anyone else have this happen? Maybe California people just give out more fake compliments. I don't know.

[elzie]

I have this alot. I am always chatted up and people are like 'how do you do it?' Idk. I'll never know as I don't like my body.

I don't even feel like this is someone with an ed problem (though it does make it worse) but I think everyone can feel like this. I bet you are pretty though.

Just...enjoy it!

[Thoughtmirror]

I think some people just pick up on how we feel about ourselves, but they see the beauty in us. I had this one lady today tell me how I was a cutie and not to long before that I was thinking how fat and ugly I was. I'm not sure if that is correct, but it's very possible that people pick up on things and will say something positive about us because we are beautiful. We can't see it, but others can.

[whatstolifebutobsession]

I guess my curiosity was struck mainly by the observation that I had never heard this before I started feeling quite low on my appearance. Maybe I'm just noticing it for the first time. No, I think I'd notice at any time. Oh well- idk

thoughtmirror: I can find something beautiful about almost anyone, and I give quite a bit of compliments I guess. So yea, I know you're right about others finding beauty in things we might not find beautiful.

elzie - "just enjoy it": right! what am i fretting about. haha. I guess I've always been a bit skeptical of positive feedback but its a good reminder to ... "just enjoy it"

[tweedledum]

I think just take the compliment at face value, if you don't believe it, than thats ok but definitely don't say that to the person giving you it. I used to always say "no i'm not" when my sister would say i was pretty and she told me it made her feel bad, like i was saying she was lying to me.

[whatstolifebutobsession]

I think just take the compliment at face value, if you don't believe it, than thats ok but definitely don't say that to the person giving you it. I used to always say "no i'm not" when my sister would say i was pretty and she told me it made her feel bad, like i was saying she was lying to me.

Yea, I learned that lesson awhile back. Not only does it hurt the other person's feeling for having their good intentions rejected, but it also made me look super underconfident (which I may be, but I don't want to write it all over my face for all to see either). good point, my friend.

[Girlinterruptedallthetime]

Just wanted to say that this past weekend this happened a few times and also all day on monday which was weird. I mean sure I know it is cuz I lost some weight but I just can't see what they see and I think they are all crazy for looking at me that way.

[bettybetty]

most girls with ed's are actually quite pretty by general western standards
the ed girls i know in real life are all very very pretty (i mean the face, body varies depending on what type of ed hahaha)

i think on some level i should know by now that well.. my face meets classical beauty standards, i mean high cheekbones and that shit and my body is more the androgynous type, long and not much of a waist or boobs, looks good with not much fat on it (but atm i have loads of fat on it duh).. and i think that's one of the reasons i overeat these days. i'm scared of too much attention, i think i don't deserve to be beautiful. but if got to a bmi 17-20 or so i'd actually look really good and that's what scares the hell out of me, i'm addicted to hating myself and i couldn't hate myself anymore at my ideal weight. whenever i loose weight it's like people are staring at me.. and i get told from superskinny models i look really pretty and other ppl too, and my acting coach called me beautiful and the only other chick he called beautiful was this skinny model bitch (hate her cos she's so freakin classically beautiful and she knows it. i personally think she's so pretty she looks just dull). ugh i'm confused.
and just the other day this girl was like "i love your hair, you're so gorgeous, i wish i could be such a free spirit and as confident as you are blablabla" and i also hear a lot of "you have such a healthy body, you look so healthy, not a stick figure, you've got these healthy natural curves blablabla"...
in such a situation i always think if they knew that i sometimes don't wanna leave the house and that confidence is only an act cause if i show any signs of insecurity ppl's words will kill me and i drank 6l of diet coke earlier and ate 5000 kcal of junk and purged half of it and ate another 1000 and that's why i'm sipping water now and so much abt healthy and the only reason i'm dancing my ass off and do crazy moves is because i need to work the kcal off and it has nothing to do with being a free spirit... oh well we're all mad here

since i've never ever ever felt good about my appearance i don't think the comments are related to how i feel about it, i just don't know, in the end i don't think being beautiful even matters. it's the spirit that shines through and makes me notice people. and personally i find those the most fascinating to look at the people that care the least about how they look and have a passion for something other than themselves (like art, music, their work..) so they just get that spark...

sorry if this post sounds confused or self-indulgent. sorry