you are a fucking idiot.

[backwhereiwas]

so i have this friend who knows almost everything there is to know about me--how i swing between anorexia and bulimia, how i starve until i pass out and puke until there's nothing but blood in the toilet. how i absolutely need at least three or four lines of coke or an oxycontin to get through the day, how when i don't have them i sit around bingeing and wanting nothing more than to get high.

she knows my best friend raped me more than once when i was thirteen. she's listened so many times to just how much this fucking eating disorder has just completely fucked me up.

and yet i listen to her tell other people how she's horribly scarred because she was 'sexually harassed' by a guy in her freshman year (read, he sent her too many texts and hugged her), how she's anorexic (and then lists what she's eaten during the day.. yeah, sweetheart, that's like two weeks of food for anyone anorexic) and how she was 'addicted to drugs' (read, she tried to get high off ibuprofen)

uhg. i fucking hate fucking stupid people like this. i'm not saying this in a "WAH LOOK AT ME MY PROBLEMS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT FUCK YALL" kind of way, i'm saying this in a "jesus christ, you don't know what the hell you're talking about about and you belittle things that KILL people so you can seem 'damaged' or whatever" kind of way.

i hate this fucking shit. yeah, i'm kinda pissed and sleep deprived, does it show? :p uhg. i hate sounding like such a bitch but honestly. it's been bothering me.

who else has "those" friends? rant about them. i need a bitch fest. :D

end self pity rant.

[progirl]

UGH! I have one of those "friends". Had I mean. I decided I didn't like how her obvious mental defects (and yes I fully see I am the kettle calling her black) made me feel/act. Being her friend didn't make me a better person in any way shape or form, so good riddance to bad rubbish I say.

She was very annoying, looking back on it. To be fair to her, she didn't know about my ED but she'd always make the dumbest statements. "Oh my god, I'm becoming anorexic...I only ate three pieces of pizza for supper! I usually have four. Do you think I should see a doctor?" "I wish I could be anorexic for like a month. Just enough to lose a little bit of weight." "Do you reckon Kelsey is bulimic? She's always eating and very thin. I bet she barfs. How gross."

I always wanted to shake her and scream "Do you have any actual idea what an eating disorder *is* or do you just like seeming like a complete idiot?"

[anonomousmia]

Last year, my housemate knew about my bulimia, and would say things like 'woah i've just had a binge' . . .from 3 slices of malt loaf!!! wtf! . . .and 'omg ive just ate sooo much, talk about binge' and again, shes had 2 waffles. In my head I was like 'are you kidding me?!' but let it slip because she didn't mean to offend/hurt me or anything.

Slightly different note:

I also notice how people joke about depression and self harm. I have friends that say 'omg that is so depressing'. . .'now im actually depressed'. . .and I'm like, no, your not ACTUALLY depressed are you? Which is silly because they don't mean they are, they are just saying it for effect? But I hate when people go. . .'argghh, thats so annoying! Might aswell slit my wrists!' or do a gesture mimicking cutting their arms.

[lovebexs]

I also notice how people joke about depression and self harm. I have friends that say 'omg that is so depressing'. . .'now im actually depressed'. . .and I'm like, no, your not ACTUALLY depressed are you? Which is silly because they don't mean they are, they are just saying it for effect? But I hate when people go. . .'argghh, thats so annoying! Might aswell slit my wrists!' or do a gesture mimicking cutting their arms.

i'm guilty of doing that :[

anyways, yeah my friends can be like that too and it's so annoying. like my friend gwen knows that i make myself throw up (i don't know if she knows how bad it used to be, or how much i restrict now) but anyways, whenever we're together and she finishes her meal, she'll say something like "i feel soo ill, i wish i could throw it all up like you do! it must be so much easier for you," and i'm like NO. i don't think she's trying to be nasty, but it's so insensitive.

my bestie paul also does this thing where he has to be the biggest fuck-up. like if last weekend i went to a party every night, he'll tell me he went to 2 parties every night. he always pops pills right in the middle of class, just so everybody will look at him and think he's such a badass and he's soo rebellious and he walks around school with cigarettes behind his ears, even though they're obviously not allowed in school, and he gets detention for that like every other day. he just does such stupid things for attention, when he really has no problems, it's just like he goes out of his way to make some so he can complain to me about how rough his life is. UGH it makes me so angryy

xx

[Priscilla]

oh god
my who is SERIOUSLY FUCKING FAT
[haha] friend tells me how i don't have to worry about my weight
and how she's so fucked up
and has serious issues with her weight
and is so self-conscious
and then
goes to starbucks and buys a grande strawberry and cream frappuchino with whipped cream on top, a pannini and a muffin.

Fucking idiot.

[GuitarCrazyo]

1 Computers are better than the track team
2 For the money assuming no y clients, if you have one of THOSE then its a hassle
3 You can stay up till 3am and no one really notices...