Jennie
06-15-2011, 05:06 PM
And I cant stand being chubby!!
.. Cause I do! Miss way-too-chubby.
No matter how much I want to stop bingein, how many times I think "this is the last time", no matter how discusting and fat I feel, it doesnt help. I just keep on, every day, eating whatevers in the house. Even my mom is like "DONT EAT THE BREAD, I NEED IT"... Now I dont even go out cause I feel so miserable about my body.. Cant show up at the gym when everybody can see I have gained too much in a short time. Of course people should get what I struggle with, or they think I "love food too much". ugh..
What hurts the most (haha, dramatic) is that Ive been "anorexic" for the past 6-7 years, not eating much at all, just eating the right stuff and being very underweight the past 4 years. Since I started to eat to gain weight and get "fit" by lifting weights I've gained around 55 (!!!) lbs.. I thought it was enough at around 22 lbs, but then I started bingeing like crazy and couldnt stop... Gaining even faster. Now I'm even too afraid to step on a scale after I passed 130 :(
So, as always, I say today was the last day of endless, painful bingeing and tomorrow I'm gonna start a diet to get back my control and lose weight :cool: I say it about every day, but I havent been on a forum in ages about it, so maybe it will help :) Last time, before I got hospitalized and wanted to recover I dropped 65 in less than a year, so 30 should be piece of cake? (or fruit..)
I really need this, or else I'm at the point of suicide, no kidding.
So anyone wanna join?? Binge-free, no more calories than 1300 and no less than 700. I'm thinking about staying around 800-1200, eating as less as possible of sugar, gluten (really triggering) and probably high-fat cause then my amount will drop drastically. Veggies, some fruit and lean protein ftw! When I've lost enough to dare step up at the gym im gonna start weightlifting and other workouts that I love again, until that I'm going to jog or walk alot. Dont know what my weight is, but I add more than it probably is and say 140. I'm going down to 110-115, with muscles I think its going to be good :p Hoping to reach it before october?! You in?? I need support!
.. Cause I do! Miss way-too-chubby.
No matter how much I want to stop bingein, how many times I think "this is the last time", no matter how discusting and fat I feel, it doesnt help. I just keep on, every day, eating whatevers in the house. Even my mom is like "DONT EAT THE BREAD, I NEED IT"... Now I dont even go out cause I feel so miserable about my body.. Cant show up at the gym when everybody can see I have gained too much in a short time. Of course people should get what I struggle with, or they think I "love food too much". ugh..
What hurts the most (haha, dramatic) is that Ive been "anorexic" for the past 6-7 years, not eating much at all, just eating the right stuff and being very underweight the past 4 years. Since I started to eat to gain weight and get "fit" by lifting weights I've gained around 55 (!!!) lbs.. I thought it was enough at around 22 lbs, but then I started bingeing like crazy and couldnt stop... Gaining even faster. Now I'm even too afraid to step on a scale after I passed 130 :(
So, as always, I say today was the last day of endless, painful bingeing and tomorrow I'm gonna start a diet to get back my control and lose weight :cool: I say it about every day, but I havent been on a forum in ages about it, so maybe it will help :) Last time, before I got hospitalized and wanted to recover I dropped 65 in less than a year, so 30 should be piece of cake? (or fruit..)
I really need this, or else I'm at the point of suicide, no kidding.
So anyone wanna join?? Binge-free, no more calories than 1300 and no less than 700. I'm thinking about staying around 800-1200, eating as less as possible of sugar, gluten (really triggering) and probably high-fat cause then my amount will drop drastically. Veggies, some fruit and lean protein ftw! When I've lost enough to dare step up at the gym im gonna start weightlifting and other workouts that I love again, until that I'm going to jog or walk alot. Dont know what my weight is, but I add more than it probably is and say 140. I'm going down to 110-115, with muscles I think its going to be good :p Hoping to reach it before october?! You in?? I need support!