When is it time to visit the Doctor?

[x-lost-angel-x]

Hey everyone. I was just wondering, because I've wanted to go for a long time, but I always feel like I would either be wasting their time or that they probably couldn't help me anyway.
Basically, I think I'm depressed. And I've felt this way for years, I often break down crying just because it hurts so much. I've gone through a lot of bad stuff in my life, and I know these are probably why I am feeling this way. But its like I don't know why it hurts so much, why I am so sad all the time. I hate it, then the only other feelings are this incredible sense of numbness. Like I am disocciated from everyone, and everything goes on around me but I'm just there, numb. Depression has run through all the women in my real mothers family too. To top that off, I've been self-harming for the last 7 years and had an ED for the last 9. I was diagnosed when I was younger with anorexia, and my self-harming noted. But then I "recovered", moved away and that was the end of that.

So, I want to know. When is it time to see the Doctor? I don't think I can take much more, I'm barely sleeping and I fantasize about just swallowing a ton of pills, not to die, but just to make my brain stop. To clear the fog. Do you think I could be helped?
Another downside is, I only have 2 more weeks at university, so even if I see the doctor this week, I'd only have another week until I would be moving home again and switching doctors. Have I left it too late? I don't like the doctor at my home surgery, I would sooner tell them here because they are strangers. And my stepmum works in our surgery at home and I don't want to tell her or my dad yet until I know what the doctor thinks and know if they think they can help me. Oh god, I'm sorry this is so long and rambly...I just don't know what to think...help?

[mochroi8]

The fact that you're considering it shows that deep down, it is something you know will be good for you.

I just saw a doctor today, thinking that asking for a referral to a psychologist would sound stupid, but to my surprise the doctor recommended it pretty much straight away. I, too, feel like I'd be wasting their time, but logically I know I'm not- and by the sound of it you are in a worse place than I am right now. So yes, I really do think it's time, regardless of whether you have to switch doctors later. Even simply doing something you've always put off or dismissed could be enough of a change to make you feel slightly better. It's the willingness to just do something that is most important, and posting here is a good first step :)

Of course they can help you, if you really want it. I know that's the hard part, but you do have the strength. Good luck in whatever you decide to do xx