Why?!

[Pygmy]

Right I've come to wonder, why do I do this?

I've binged for 9 days in a row now, without purging, so I've concluded my body can't still be trying to make up for lost calories... surely?

Anyway I tried to have a "normal" day's food today. I attempted a bowl of cereal and BAM I end up having 6 full-to-the-top swimming in semi-skimmed milk. Why can't I do it? =/

Anyone else wondering/have any reasons or were we just born to binge?

[mochroi8]

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes, and a thousand times yes.

I've been doing exactly the same, and I'm lost for an explanation too...all I can conclude is that it's pure habit. It's scary how little control I have, even when I *know* how much damage I'm doing (my binges are basically sugar-fests).

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It's GOT to stop...

[dazed]

I have been binging a lot lately too.
I'm going crazy because of it! It's like I didn't wan't to eat those five chocolate eggs, but I just did because I could! :( I agree with mochroi8, I think we binge out of habit. I don't know about you guys, but while I'm binging, I feel great...It's afterwards that I feel like shit and have a total break down. The serious problem is, is that I've been thinking about was to get rid of it. I have only purged, maybe twice in my life? Lately it's been tempting. I don't wan't to start purging too. :(

[Pygmy]

My binges are sugar-fests too. Anything and everything. And if there's nothing in the house I'll go to any length to get to a shop (this generally involves "borrowing" money off my brother as I'm usually cashless) to get what I can. Heck I've gone to my gran's on a binge and eaten all her biscuits/ice-cream! If it's a binge, it's a binge day, so wherever I go I get more food. ARGH!!!

I do it because I can. :/ It's like once I start binging I've broken the rules and it's a binge day so I can eat whatever I want and I have to because it's a binge day so I have to make myself fat... Wow self-analysis is weird. XD

Dazed- I feel great when I binge too, and I binge more to keep me from feeling low. :/ *Hugs* Purging does tempt me, and tbh it annoys me that I can't do it. I've tried and can never get anything up, but I've recently been thinking that this is a blessing not a curse. It's a bad cycle. Purging will mean you will binge more, and more uncontrollably. Keep trying not to! :)

Overall. We need a way out of this habit. I'm thinking of filling the time I spend binging doing something productive. Heck, I might take up knitting! ;D
xxx :(

[mochroi8]

The serious problem is, is that I've been thinking about was to get rid of it. I have only purged, maybe twice in my life? Lately it's been tempting. I don't wan't to start purging too. :(

I could never purge either in the past, but in the last week I think I've done it four times. It was so hard and I barely got rid of anything, but I'll admit it has tempted me since then...I've stopped the last few days though. It was just so horrible- I'd rather deal with the discomfort/lethargy of restricting, or even the self-hatred of binging. And to be honest I just don't think I have the patience. And I DO NOT want to start dealing with the complications of purging on top of everything else...

It's scary, though, how tempted I have been to actually decide to become a purging bulimic. What an awful thing to deliberately think. NOT going to allow myself to go there. I think I might actually write myself a list of all the reasons not to :S

[dazed]

I could never purge either in the past, but in the last week I think I've done it four times. It was so hard and I barely got rid of anything, but I'll admit it has tempted me since then...I've stopped the last few days though. It was just so horrible- I'd rather deal with the discomfort/lethargy of restricting, or even the self-hatred of binging. And to be honest I just don't think I have the patience. And I DO NOT want to start dealing with the complications of purging on top of everything else...

It's scary, though, how tempted I have been to actually decide to become a purging bulimic. What an awful thing to deliberately think. NOT going to allow myself to go there. I think I might actually write myself a list of all the reasons not to :S
Okay. I feel like you are taking words out of my mouth! I feel exactly the same way. I don't even know what to do! I am so tempted to purge, it seems like it will make all of my problems go away! But I know it will just give me more. I don't want to start purging. I cannot start purging. You shouldn't either! :/ aggghh this is going to be so difficult.

[becauseittastesgood]

I think some people are just born to binge as pessimistic as this sounds. They will tell you at treatment that the number one way to set yourself up for a binge is by restricting. No, actually I am more likely to binge when I have already eaten a good amount for the day because I already feel out of control. In fact the days I have made it without binging are the ones where I have restricted. Also, they tell you that if you're a healthy weight then the intense sugar cravings will subside. Wrong again. I have had the same nagging cravings at every weight. I don't purge anymore, it's probably the worst thing you can do because your binges will only get larger but I still binge despite digesting all those calories! I don't understand. It doesn't matter what I do I am programmed to eat. I wish there was a cure for this awful disease.

[perfect_disguise]

i have sugar fests too, it's awful and i can't even handle sugar, i just pass out right after and have awful headaches but i just can't stop. sugar is the worst, it's harder to quit than cigarettes. the longest time i have gone without processed sugar was about 6 days. i was a chain smoker and i have gone a month now without smoking or even wanting to smoke, cold turkey. but when it comes to sugar, no way. has anybody else tried to stop and experienced the same thing?

i think that binging has become not only a part of my "routine" but also a part of my vocabulary and the way i perceive myself. i come to think of every snack and most meals as "binging". but i do overeat and that's a fact. i just think what we should all do is perhaps redefine the way we think about binging, try not to perceive ourselves as "binge eaters" anymore but just normal people, and maybe it will go away. i think i spend too much time thinking of myself as "binging" when if i thought of myself as just eating, maybe i would eat less. i don't know, just a thought.

[mochroi8]

Okay. I feel like you are taking words out of my mouth! I feel exactly the same way. I don't even know what to do! I am so tempted to purge, it seems like it will make all of my problems go away! But I know it will just give me more. I don't want to start purging. I cannot start purging. You shouldn't either! :/ aggghh this is going to be so difficult.

We won't let each other. *Vows*

[dazed]

We won't let each other. *Vows*

We can't! I vow too!


No, actually I am more likely to binge when I have already eaten a good amount for the day because I already feel out of control.
I get what you are saying, I mean, when I feel like I've already eaten a bunch, I get the "Well, I've already ruined today!" mentality.

[Pygmy]

Purge-wise. I'd promise not to do it but I feel like I need it as a last resort, however bad that is. :/

Also I do think some of us are just born like this, with the attitude and capability to eat and eat and eat... I don't know what 'normal' eating is anymore. :/ And I'm pretty sure my stomach's distended to the point where I'm actually feeling slightly hungry(?) even though I've eaten a lot. :/

And I agree, I don't binge when I am restricting. If I'm undereating I'm doing it seriously and very low cal... and when I overeat I sort of feel like I have to eat as much as I can.... and the more I eat the worse and the better I feel. I don't know, it's so confusing. =(

[ThinInsideFat]

All I can say is Wow to this thread because I came on here tonight in total despair over my last 3 days of serious binging. I try so hard to describe it but you guys have totally hit the nail on the head. Once I get in the restricting zone, I am safe and on my way but lately...I can't get there. Every day there is some stupid excuse to stuff myself. Lets see, Monday, it was because I was having sugar shakes and sweats from all the candy I ate on Sunday...so I told myself it was okay to eat some "bad" things to help level it out. Then, because I screwed up the "diet", it was a free for all binge day. That continued into 4am Tuesday so then, I had the reason on Tuesday to continue binging since I already started off wrong (after midnight is the next day ya know). Then today...it gets really stupid because I was craving salad...but not any salad...the kind with tons of fat dressing, and shredded cheese and mountains upon mountains of fat. So then...because I ate that...the day was ruined and I ate tons and tons of candy up until now.
All these excuses are completely insane....and all I do is gain gain gain :(
I pray tomorrow will be better.....I'm really hoping to stick to ABC.