getting bad again

[make_me_perfect]

I literally cannot get out of bed today. Its been a while since this felt so physically impossible...I thought I was getting better - I've been on meds and increasing them lately even, so how is it so fucking bad right now. This whole week has been shitty. I just don't understand how i'm able to stop CARING about EVERYTHING... This and my bulimia are the reasons I did so awful in college the past couple yrs...I thought this semester could be different, but its not. I faked a stomach viurs so I didnt have to do a presentation or turn in a paper i hadn't even started yet today. I have an exam tomorrow and friday that i should be studying for but i feel paralyzed.. Overwhelmingly painful numbness is the best way I can describe the way I feel. Im so ashamed for lying to everyone this way again.. I can't tell everyone its bad again becauase all i do these days is make people i love worry about me anyway.... i've got to get over this on my own, I can't keep dragging everyone down with me. Sorry for this long post, I just felt like venting :(

[moon_light]

I totally know what you're talking about.... *virtually hugs* It's so hard to get out of that rut once it starts. It just exponentially gets worse and worse and worse. But once you start taking the small steps to fix everything, it WILL get better. It doesn't feel like it now, but it will. You have to muster up whatever strength you have left and start that paper or finish that test or even just get out of bed and go for a walk.

Try doing something, ANYTHING productive. I'd suggest exercising-- that always helps me up my mood. Also realize that not doing well on a test or not handing in a paper on time is not the end of the world. Life goes on, no matter how hard that is to believe.

PM me if you ever need to talk <3