Jacklinger
04-15-2011, 09:13 PM
Depression make a man unlovable. No woman wants a guy that's a sad sack all the time. They just don't. It's a fact of life. But what if the reason why the man is sad is only because he's lonely? So he can't find love because he's sad all the time, and he's sad all the time because he can't find love.
That situation ends one of two ways. He get's unsad, or he dies. And he has to get unsad all by himself. He has to learn to not just be "ok" while alone, but to like it. How many times have you heard "You're going to do such-and-such and you're going to like it!" And you remember how you felt when someone told you that? Resentful, rebellious, angry, helpless?
I faced my loneliness, and learned how to get unsad fairly well. I felt content most days. Then I started to feel a little more confident, especially after losing 125 lbs. Now I have a loving girlfriend. And I'm happier now than ever before.
My step-sister's ex-boyfriend died 2 days ago. He killed himself.
I knew him. We met and hung out. We liked a lot of the same stuff. I was enjoying how uncanny it was we got along so well and both liked anime and sci-fi. Apparently we also both suffered from extreme depression. He was a loner, apparently. So am I. My step-sis was apparently the first(only?) GF he ever had and when she dumped him, because he was too "emotional" (a nice way of saying he was a sad-sack) and she needed someone more confident and "goal-oriented". That's just the way women are. It's not bad. They're not being cruel. They just can't be happy and healthy with a guy like that. It just can't work.
He couldn't figure out how to get unsad, I guess. So he died.
Had I known how he was feeling, you'd think if anyone at all, could've understood what he was going through, it could've been me, and maybe I could've helped him. But, I don't think so. What could have I said to him, that I didn't already tell myself a thousand times before, and didn't believe it even when hearing it coming from my own head? The cruel reality, of being a sad man, is that no one can help you. Solitude, it can be reconciled only, when you're alone. Then after that, maybe, someone would like to sit with you for a while, because they like the natural smile you found on your own.
The only thing, that I can think of, that I might have said to him, is just a low, whispered "Seeya man..., seeya later." Wherever he went, I'll be someday, but not today, and not anytime soon.
That situation ends one of two ways. He get's unsad, or he dies. And he has to get unsad all by himself. He has to learn to not just be "ok" while alone, but to like it. How many times have you heard "You're going to do such-and-such and you're going to like it!" And you remember how you felt when someone told you that? Resentful, rebellious, angry, helpless?
I faced my loneliness, and learned how to get unsad fairly well. I felt content most days. Then I started to feel a little more confident, especially after losing 125 lbs. Now I have a loving girlfriend. And I'm happier now than ever before.
My step-sister's ex-boyfriend died 2 days ago. He killed himself.
I knew him. We met and hung out. We liked a lot of the same stuff. I was enjoying how uncanny it was we got along so well and both liked anime and sci-fi. Apparently we also both suffered from extreme depression. He was a loner, apparently. So am I. My step-sis was apparently the first(only?) GF he ever had and when she dumped him, because he was too "emotional" (a nice way of saying he was a sad-sack) and she needed someone more confident and "goal-oriented". That's just the way women are. It's not bad. They're not being cruel. They just can't be happy and healthy with a guy like that. It just can't work.
He couldn't figure out how to get unsad, I guess. So he died.
Had I known how he was feeling, you'd think if anyone at all, could've understood what he was going through, it could've been me, and maybe I could've helped him. But, I don't think so. What could have I said to him, that I didn't already tell myself a thousand times before, and didn't believe it even when hearing it coming from my own head? The cruel reality, of being a sad man, is that no one can help you. Solitude, it can be reconciled only, when you're alone. Then after that, maybe, someone would like to sit with you for a while, because they like the natural smile you found on your own.
The only thing, that I can think of, that I might have said to him, is just a low, whispered "Seeya man..., seeya later." Wherever he went, I'll be someday, but not today, and not anytime soon.