i hate her

[9_Reasons]

i dont remember the day. maybe a few weeks ago. i remember it being a wednesday. i was about to commit suicide. a friend of mine who lives in cali (i live in durban, south africa) told a few people, sent them a message on facebook. and ruined everything.
i hate her. i can't stand her. and i want her to leave. she has to leave. but she won't. she's just staying.
i hate what it did. i could be gone now. in peace. but im not. cause of her. im not thankful at all. i wish she hadn't told anyone.

[HotGossip]

9_Reasons, whenever I read a post like this from someone going through depression, I cry. It actually hurts me that people are hurting this badly. I don't know why. Please realize your friend cares about you. I know you don't get it now and you may not even years from now, but when you get better (and I hope and pray you will), you will realize this. Death is not peace. It leaves people broken. You are a beautiful person....find the sunshine.

[9_Reasons]

HotGossip thank you for the reply.
we're going through a rough patch at the moment. i don't think i can forget this ever. i can't trust her. and i'm worse off now than i was before.
thank for being kind :)

[Divine]

Imagine being in her position :(
Knowing your friend will commit suicide and NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.. it's so painful.
How is she supposed to live next when you die, thinking she could have prevented it?
She did something good for you.If I was that friend.. sorry but not only i was going to tell but I was going to go to seek help from professionals.I'm very very responsible person and i can't imagine that i would be passive while my good friend calmly tells me she's going to kill herself.

[9_Reasons]

she's told me that. so many times.
im so hurt. i cant bare it. i couldn't go to classes because i was crying.
her presence in my life is a constant reminder of that hurt.
i know i still love her. but im so hurt.

[Divine]

I can understand how you feel, but why not try to be even more personal with her.You told her about this, so she is very close I assume.Other thing that comes to my mind is that your subconsciousness manipulates you so you can prevent killing yourself.
I think It's called self-sabotage and it means a great part of you want to live! Embrace it and the change for good will come itself.LOTS of love and god bless you.Be strong and know that you are one in this world and we are writing this only to you, God chose you to create, you should love yourself more!

[HotGossip]

You are very welcome. I agree with Divine as well, I would could never live with myself knowing that I could have helped my suicidal friend because they TOLD me they were going to kill themselves. I know you are hurt, but I hope you find it in your heart to someday forgive her. She meant no malice with her actions. I hope you also find it in yourself to one day have the courage to get help and recover, no one deserves to feel the sadness you feel. Stay Strong. <3

[oz4pitty]

she saved your life. which means she LOVES you.
you may be in a very dark place, but look at the sparkle of light that comes from your friend's love. hang to that light/love.
It's hard, but talk to her about your feelings... and please, please get some professional help. We can only tell you to be strong, but someone else may have the conditions to work with you and help you out.

Don´t kill yourself. It's a great loss to your friends and family. and be SURE it's a great loss to the WORLD!
please, please, please try to smile today.

and write 9 beautiful reasons to stay alive, and then post them because i want to read them!! =) pleeease =))

[danieldanielone]

I am was don't remember that day. maybe a one year ago. I remember it being a monday. I was about to group suicide. A friend of mine who lives in cal told a few people, sent them a message on facebook. and ruined everything.I hate her.I can't stand her. and I hat her.