How long has everyone been bulimic?

[mirage of xanthe]

Hi everyone :)

Just wondering how long everyone's been dealing with this insane eating disorder. What started it? [if you feel comfortable saying so].

I've been bulimic/anorexic for the past 3 years, but I was anorexic before that for 8 years. My bulimia specifically started when I was in a rocky relationship with a guy who played mind games with me then dumped me one day but still kept wanting me for sex. And I just started throwing up my food to get rid of all the feelings I was having. It became an addictive cycle and voila. Even after 6 months of recovery, here I am all over again.

Thanks everyone for your input!

[blue*eyes]

You sound like me!! I started out being mia about 3 years ago due to a bad marriage. I was married for 14 years and was invisible ( if you know what I mean)He was very controlive. He didn't let me wear make up or do my hair. I happen to be kinda of attractive:confused: Can't believe I said that out loud!! Anyway, I was tired of not being myself or having fun or even being happy. He always told me I was no good and I could never get anyone like him.:p Ya right!!!! So anyway, I started b/p right in front of him and he didn't even get it. He never asked any questions. Not even when I had lost 30 pounds in 2 months!! It just became a habit and a lifestyle for me. I'm more ana now. But every once in a while mia creeps back in. For some odd reason, mia makes me feel better:cool: Go figure. Of course today is one of my "fat" days. I feel horrible. I hate this disease, but I know I couldn't live without it.

[bratyimp]

[COLOR="Indigo"]i'm kinda both right now...bulimic/anorexic..
i really can't tell you when it started, seem like i was doing it
my whole life...
from skipping meals to going days without eatting..
than from over eatting to throwing it up..
at the time i didn't know there was a name for it, and
that there was others like me..
so there wasn't any shame, or anyone trying to heal me..
i do know it came from years of childhood and teenager
abuse...
and as for now, i think it's started cause i'm seeking control
of my run away life...
and scare of what life holds for me, my children are almost grown..
and that don't leave me much...

[ /COLOR]

[Ginger]

I feel like an amature compaired to everyone else. I was a COE for almost 2 years and gained a rediculous amount of weight. At the beginning of last semester, I guess i got tired of trying to eat to muffle my feelings and was so disgusted with myself that i started dieting and working out. Then a normal diet went to calorie counting, then to a max of 900 calories a day, to 500, to 300, to 100. I've just recently started b/p. It's like i just can't stand the empiness anymore and have to fill it with food, but that is unacceptable to puge to feel clean again. I don't know if i'm totally crazy or not. Some times i wonder if anyone can understand.

[Mia.Girl]

Well, I wouldn't say I've been Bulimic long... I've been anorexic over the past year and a half, and then it went to EDNOS cause I got my menstruel cycle back... and then all of a sudden I found myself binging then purging. Eh... so I'd say about a week. (How sad...:p)


I don't mind sharing the cause of this disorder. When I was in 2nd grade (I'm a sophomore almost a junior in high school now) I had a cruel teacher, who put me behind a bookshelf all day long, she wouldn't even let me go to the restroom!:( So that sort of sent me a negative feeling I guess you could put it... then I had a teacher for 3 years in a roll who was the snottest woman you could ever have the misfortune of knowing (bleh!) she made me feel I don't know... helpless.. worthless.. I'm not sure. The next two years (4th and 5th) were chaos at my house *rolls eyes* you don't want to know.. then when I got into middle school I made friends with a couple of people I probably shouldn't have made friends with, then in high school things got real stressful, with all the trouble I was having with my friendships. I have low self-esteem too so I guess those are what caused this.:mad: stupid teachers.:mad:

[Tessa]

I've been bulimic since I was 11 on and off.. mainly on.- That makes 14 freaking years of this.:eek:

I want to stop so bad, but sometimes it is a compulsion for me, and it does tend to make me feel better when I am stressed.:) Anybody got any ideas on stopping for good, or at least down to once or so a week?

Tessa

[normalll]

I've never been anything like that, always been normal. I eat a lot when i want to and dont really care considering i pretty much dont gain weight from eating, i'm extremly happy with my body ;)

[toogood4this]

okay, so here i am.
i still don't exactly know what this website is for.
i don't know if it's a support group website to help get over bulimia or what, i sure hope so.
i just started a little over a month ago...but i'm getting help NOW.
i'm an ambitious girl with so many achievements and dreams that i just cannot do this now. i need help, NOW.
i've always been battling with my weight though i was never overweight. i actually used to be pretty healthy, i exercised moderately daily & ate healthy foods. i still look healthy now but i've been binging & purging...

[chinadoll]

Ive been having an eating disorder for almost 3 years now. Im anorexic in the day time, and severe bulimia at nite. Which means i binge like crazy, and i mean crazy around 2000 calories intake, and i throw it all up. I am also a laxative abuser. I have this laxative pill that youre only suppose to take 2 per day, and i take around 8 per day, sometimes 16 cause i binged and purged twice in the same day. Yes this is all raelly horrible, and i am ashamed, but you asked.

Btw my lifes is completely screwed. I wish i never started this, i dotn rmb wat caused it. But if i could i seriously wish this never happened. i wanna be like how i used to be. Happy. I really do. And it only makes me sadder to realize tats never gonna happen, and ill eventually die in depression.

[daisies2187]

Hi! I am a recovering bulimic(haven't purged in almost 9 months)! I've spent most of my life being preoccupied w/ weight and looks. I can remember being in 3rd grade, this boy calling to "break up" with me over the phone b/c he found someone prettier...I remember hanging up the phone and sneaking into my mom's bedroom to get her 3 lb. hand-weights. I started lifting the weights vigorously, until my arms hurt, thinking that if I were thinner or if I lost some weight, I would then be worthy of SOMEONE's affection. I was very thin all through high school but could eat thousands of calories at a time. I would never eat in front of kids at school, I would starve myself the entire school day, but when I got home and was in private, I would eat non-stop. I guess my metabolism worked better then b/c even though I ateeverything in sight, I would only gain about 5-8 lbs. a year(I didn't purge then). By my early 20s though, my food intake started to catch up w/ me. In one year alone, I gained over 30 lbs.! I was addicted to food and couldn't stop myself! I would try crash diets and fasting, lose 10 lbs. here and there, but the urge to binge would always win and cause me to gain back the 10 lbs plus another 10 or more. I hated eating w/ other people b/c I had to try to remain calm, eat slowly, and act as if I was in control when I really wasn't. When it came to food, I wanted to eat as much of it as possible, as quickly as possible...this was just too embarrassing to do in front of others so I eventually stopped going out w/ friends and family. Once I lost all of my friends, my food addiction really took control! It was the only thing in my life that I could count on. When I got engaged to my husband 3 years ago, I got very stressed w/ how ugly I would look in my wedding gown. I was heavy at the time, but still, I was so obsessed w/ my lack of perfection that I allowed it to ruin my wedding day. I knew I couldn't control the binges; I was easily eating 5000-6000 calories a day. I also knew I couldn't make myself vomit(the only time I ever vomited wasn't self-induced. It actually happened naturally b/c I had eaten 5 bacon/egg/cheese biscuits and a biscuit w/ gravy from McD's). So, vomiting wasn't an option for me. Therefore, I started taking laxatives to lose weight before my wedding. That is when I started the excessive weighing...I would weigh myself immediately after a binge, as punishment, and then I would purge by using laxatives, use the bathroom, weigh myself again, and so on. It got to where a ONE pound difference could make or break my entire day! If someone tried to take away my scale, I would completely flip out and go off on them(I am typically a very soft-spoken person). Even though I told myself I would stop after the wedding(June of '06), it continued and the binging got worse. I was spending $200 a week on groceries for just me and my husband! A trip to the grocery store was like a high for me, and as soon as I got everything home(while I unpacked it all) I would have to eat ONE of EVERY item I had bought before putting it away in the pantry. I would get mad at my husband if he tried helping me w/ putting up the groceries. The kitchen was my haven AND my hell, and I didn't want anyone else in it! There were actually times I would spend HOURS standing in my kitchen, alone, walking back and forth from the refrigerator to the pantry, eating thousands of calories as quickly as possible until I couldn't physically eat any more. Then, it was time for the laxatives, and while taking them in the bathroom, I would realize that I could not even remember what foods I had just eaten! It wasn't about the food or the taste; it was about filling a void as quickly as possible. That's why I never really stopped to even TASTE the food! I became so addicted to laxatives and was dehydrated all the time. I was always at one extreme or another...either binging/purging OR counting calories/allowing myself only 500 calories per day. It started to not only take a toll on myself and my relationships w/ friends and family, but it also started causing major problems in my marriage. I began counseling in January '07 and had my last purge around August of '07. It took a LOT of work, a great therapist, support from family, and a lot of faith in myself, but finally in February of this year, I graduated from therapy! :) For all of you who think you can do this alone or are ashamed of getting help(or you just don't WANT to get help), believe me...you will be SO relieved once you make that first step! It IS a long road, and it's not ever easy, BUT happiness CAN be your's again! I honestly feel like a new woman...I've been every weight from 100-205lbs, and I can FINALLY say that I am happy @ 145lbs. No, I don't have the perfect body or the perfect life, but one thing I have learned in my 25 years of life is that perfection is boring! :)

[trustno1]

2 years and 9 months.

no one forced me to be Mia, i was just eating mashed potatoes one day when i was 13 and afterwards i threw it up because i realized how fat i was.

[pulpeOrange]

I started to feel fat about 10 years ago. I remember being in school and always feeling just big (although I wasn't). I think eating disorders run in my family. Then about a year later my father was in a car accident that paralyzed him. That's what triggered my depression and my body image went downhill. I became anorexic around 8 years ago and within months I dropped from 140lbs (at 5'9) to 115lbs. Everyone got worried about me but I was so scared of food. I stayed anorexic and stayed between 105-115lbs for a couple years. I remember eating "too much" one day and wondered what if I could throw up what I ate. I found it really difficult to throw up and it really grossed me out. In the early stages of my bulimia I thought I was throwing up everything but I wasn't and I ended up putting on about 20lbs over a couple months. I guess it was practice because I lost it again after I got the hang of it. Now I can always throw up everything and I'm still at 110lbs after about 5 years of being bulimic. There are times when I enjoy being bulimic, I have to admit. But I do hate the way it can make me feel at the times when it has too much control over me. I wish I didn't have the cravings. The longest I've gone without purging in 4 years has only been 2 weeks.

[hellotheregirl_]

which category i fit into, bit confused.
i've just turned sixteen, and i guess i've really been bothered about my body since the age of eight when my brothers used to make fun of me because i had 'big bones', but not enough to of known to do anything about it.
i guess i started making myself sick when i was fourteen, but it's only got more common during the past year and a half since i was about fourteen and a half, i think that'd probably be abit of a shock to any of my friends who have abit of an idea.
i guess to begin with it was sort of a form of self harm, then i really started to realise that my bodies actually so hideous, and that it does make a difference.

[Thru_The_Looking_Glass]

Hi I just became a member, but i've been bulimic for about 7 years. I started out as an exercise bulimic, then tetered back and forth between bulimia and bulimorexia. I have had treatment and i'm still in it. I've been in treatment for about 2 years, and i am a lot better. I lived w my ED pretty well for the first 5 years and balanced it with everything else quite nicely. I was def an extreme perfectionist. Every thing colapsed my sophmore year of collage, bc that fall I decided it was time for me to slowly begin to die. My mom saw how sick i was getting and begged me to go into treatment, and I did it for my family. When I went into treatment I was puking up most of my meals, using ipecac, take triple doses of diet pills, and basically living on coffee. It was an uphill battle and still is, but I only puke a few times every couple weeks (It usually comes in clusters). As for y i do it... well, the funny thing about this is I used to think that I just loved food and I wanted to eat everything but not get fat, haha. However, I've come to relize there is a lot, A LOT, more to it. I relate the feeling of being full to the feeling of being raped and dirty. I kno that I was raped my senior year of high school, but these feelings started way before then, so I assume that something happened to me as a child that i dont remeber, and frankly dont want to remember. My dad (my "step dad") died when i was 15 and my biological father left me and my mom when was 6 months old. My mom ended up dating and moving my dad's cousin into our house who was heroin addict at the time and then aborted his baby. Needless to say i had to play parent for awhile. Belive it or not i'm not trailor trash either, haha. Not to mention EDs seem to run in my family. My great grandma and mom are both anorexic. So bottom line my ED seems to be both punishment and entertainment. I would love for it to go away.

[allie.mo]

i've been bulimic for only about six months, i've lost 20 pounds.

the reason it all started was my grandpa. as much as i love him, he would never stop talking about my weight and comment on what i was eating. when me and my family went on spring break i saw the pictures and wanted to die.. so ya. that's how it happened.

CW: 137
HW: 158
LW: 137
GW: 115

[concretedisco]

Hi I'm Mina. I have been bulimic/ana for about a year.
My own body image obsession started probably 8 years ago. But the bulimia, really kicked in when I met my friend Katie, who is the most gorgeous person I have ever met, and of course, she is bulimic. It started with her telling me about her habits, and I thought it sounded so great, and i tried it on. And just the feeling of having a friend to go through it with, to help me not binge, to help me fast. felt great. And on those occasions that I ate, my mother, literally yelled at me becuase 'I ate too much', and 'don't you want to loose weight?' just urged me on, and now I am so lost, that I really don't think this is ever going away.



I usually switch between eating and purging, and not eating at all. Right now I am not eating at all, and really, it feels so weird to say, that I feel great. Just to understand that, I love the fact that I am hungry, I love the feeling of a empty stomach that tells me that I am sick.
But I can't help myself.

I'm inlove with the disease, and the disease loves me.


CW: 114 lbs
HW: 138 lbs
LW: 108 lbs
GW: 100 lbs

[hanaan]

Hi. I am 23 years of age. I am a twin and have had eating disorder for many years now and has only been cnsuming me more so the past 6 months.

Ihave always been a bigger kind of girl and my twin sister has always been the thinner pretty one. during primary and high school i was always teased for my weight which is where3 my bad eating habits emerged. it started by not eating in front of people, and skipping meals brkfst and lunch and then binge eating at dinenr time. this then turned into attempts to purge however i was never able to do it after trying many many times.

i then lost about 40kgs when i went onto a diet shakes. i have been the same weight and now my weight has platued. I have become ery consumed with losing weight and have lost about 5 kgs.

I have started fasting recently but the last fast broke not long ago. I am now picking up my fast and only allowing for liquid foods such as coffee, tea, lemon juice and chewing gum. limiting calorie intake and needing to be very very strict. I am also making surei do the gym at least 5 times per weeka dnt eh other two days i do outside excersise.

My calorie intake daily should be limited to 200 calories and mymain problem is binge eating at night. I need to stop that because i know if i stop binge eating then my weight will be lighter and i will lose weight much faster.

I am now going to do a five day fast withonly the liquids mentioned above. one I pass my three days then ill feel like i am on a roll! Thinness here i come!

[bl0nd3_b0mbshell]

I've never been anything like that, always been normal. I eat a lot when i want to and dont really care considering i pretty much dont gain weight from eating, i'm extremly happy with my body ;)

So you took time, from your "perfect happy life" to come on this site to tell evry1 who suffer an ED that your dont have one-your perfect, can eat what u want, remain skinny and just love life?? your in the wrong place-get some compassion.

[fatkez]

Only recently started both, I hate myself, throwup almost everything and try my hardest not to eat, but my willpower is SHOT... I hate me, that's why I started.

[Rost]

well i had been bulimic for about four years, then i stopped for two years. recently though i have started purging again which is kinda getting me down a bit. i am not even entirely sure what has triggered it again. plus i am male, which makes this very embarrassing to share. i used to be a whale of a boy when i was younger, but after some of the pain that came with this problem, i turned to sport to take my mind off of it. :cool:

[bstarr]

Hello I am new here and I am glad to finallly be able to go somewhere, where people understand. I actually just started purging about a 9 months ago, I was under a lot of stress and I figured it was a way of controling what I was eating since then I have lost a signifigant amount of weight.

[jane_rabbit]

I've never been anything like that, always been normal. I eat a lot when i want to and dont really care considering i pretty much dont gain weight from eating, i'm extremly happy with my body ;)

Good for you love. How's about you go tell someone who cares and not waste your time posting on a bulimia forum then? Idiot.

[jane_rabbit]

I've been bulimic on and off since I was about 17, I'm nearly 27 now. I'm having a really hard time of it at the mo because Im spending all my cash on binges and I'm currently unemployed.
I could really do with some help and support, I need to knock this on the head.

[moody ladym]

well i started with ana at 14 than at 16 was deffantly bulimictill i was like 19 and started having children then for all of my 20's while i was having my babies i was just plain old fat but i did gain 150lbs with my first two pregancies so you'll have that then 2 years ago after baby number 4 at 265 pounds i was just done being fat and started off the healthy way but after a while the old habits from my youth began to take a hold i will say that i lost 100 pounds the healthy way than I stated restricting and then purging so the last year i guess

[chained_in_string]

I would like to think i dont suffer from any eating disorder at all...
i've just hated myself for a while now, because i've always been bigger than those around me...it just hasn't made me feel good enough for anyone...once in a while i get the urge to want to purge...heey that rhymes
*giggles hysterically*...
but i just dont do it...i guess i would love to help people overcome something like this so in the end they can feel good about themselves..and hopefully i can too

[Snowiie]

hi everyone

newbie here.... i've been bulimic for 14 years.

it all started when my dad passed away and my mum starting dating again and i just felt so bad about myself. then one day i read about bulimia in a book and decided to try it. that was the start of the road to hell.

i joined this forum in the hope of getting support from fellow sufferers... this freaking disorder is not going away!! :mad:

[faded468]

well it all started when i was 12, i started starving myself but i was young and stupid and i didn't realize that it's CALORIES that count, not grams of fat. so i wouldn't eat ANYTHING with fat in it, but i didn't pay attention to calories. as a result i stopped getting my period and lost a little weight but nothing too drastic.

then when i was 14 i was raped and i stopped eating completely. i was 102lbs when i started, and i starved myself down to 75lbs in a little less than 3 months.

i went inpatient, got released and started being healthy.

now i am like 98-102lbs (it changes back and forth) and i am 16. for a year and a half i ate normally but now i think i am becoming bulimic. i am constantly hungry for some reason so i eat a lot, and i have been purging up my dinners.

i can't decide if i want my eating disorder again or not, im kinda at a tough place right now in my life so it would be so easy to just say fuck everything and stop going out and just become stick-thin again but on the other hand i want to enjoy my life and have fun.........but i can't do that if i hate myself and at the weight i am i do hate myself...so idk.

[gem]

7 months.

it started after i lost about 15 kilos - in a good way, diet and exercise. i cheated on my diet one day and panicked, so i made myself throw up.

it took about 4 months for me to even admit to myself i was 'bulimic.' im a classic case, i binge - till i physically cant fit any more in and then purge. sometimes 4 or 5 times a day.

im broke, because i spend all my money on food, i steal food and money from my housemates, my body is starting to giv up and i hate myself more everyday for not being able to stop.

i told a friend, it was so hard - turns out she's bulimic too. she helps when im feeling really really down, but its not enough to help me stop.

[SoFat]

Ive been bulimic for 51/2-6 years. I used to weigh 270lbs. I lost 130lbs but near the end of trying I was obsessed with losing and not gaining. While losing I always ate the same thing, Knew exactly how many calories I was consuming. When I would cave and eat something other then my norm i would freak out and think I was going to gain my weight back. I thought I'd try throwing it up. It started out slow, maybe once every couple weeks when I wanted to eat bad. Then it went to every week, every day, then multiple times a day. Now almost 6 years later. I binge/purge at least once a day. Sometimes up to 4 times a day, depending if I think I've ben "bad" I can't stop. I hate the feeling of food in my stomach. I either don't eat or throw up. I hate it. I can't stop though.

[linds]

I've been mia for around 4 years when i think about it....only realised a year ago. Does that make sense? I know I used to throw up after food every now and then but it was like I kind of ignored it and put it down to just being silly. before i knew it it was after every meal and had been developing over a long time. its scary how easily mia creeps up on you and how it takes a hold.
feels like there was never a time when i didn't throw up everyday :(

[ella_bella]

I've been mia to an extent since i was about 13 or 14 so that's about 12 years for me. But only really what I would call 'seriously' for the last year, year and a half. x

[bobby1]

iv been bulimc of about a year it is the only think in my live that i can controll and that no noe say tell me what do to and i love that fact that i can controll and it make me feel happy :D x

[x_PicturePerfect]

I started getting eating disordered thoughts at the beginning of 7th grade when I was 12. I started eating less, and then started purging at the end of 7th grade. The binging and purging started in the beginning of 8th grade. So, I've been bulimic for about 7 or 8 months.

[StormyMourning]

I've been bulimic for 16 years. I landed in the ED hospital in MN in 2005 for 4 months. Lost my job, apartment and insurance. So I never got to "complete" the program. I managed to abstain while I was pregnant. I couldn't do that to my daughter. It's not her fault I'm screwed up. But now I'm struggling hard core and in that silent panic mode. The kitchen is a scary place. Since I'm not "stick" thin and apparently a fantastic liar, my boyfriend is only minimally suspicious.