helpimalive
01-19-2011, 05:49 PM
....it's going to be a bad day.
you really don’t understand how cartoons have all those little floating stars around their heads, until you are actually seeing stars.
an exaggeration on the cartoons part, as stars don’t actually fly around your head.
but boy does it ever feel like it.
today, i had this very strange eyeball pain.
just one eye.
and not like a scratch on the outside.
my actual eyeball, sort of the back of it.
people kept saying “maybe you have something in it.”
gah!
it’s not like that.
it was almost like a migraine at the back of my eye.
(i’m extremely prone to migraines).
well. i was planning to take one of the pain killers my doctor gave me for my migraines while i was at work. but.
i forgot them at home.
soo…
i thought, okay i have my muscle relaxants with me.
i’ll just take one of those.
since, when i’m at home, i tend to abuse them sometimes.
and they never really do anything for me.
well.
bad idea.
which, for some reason i was in complete denial that it wasn’t going to do anything bad.
i was so dizzy after that.
each time i had to even blink i thought my eyes would never open again and that they would be glued shut.
so my boyfriend came to take me home.
because, there was no way i could look at my computer screen any longer.
(i’m a graphic designer so i don’t have an option.)
i know it’s nothing serious with my eye.
because i JUST got my cat scan results and they came back “perfect” in their words.
my body is just.
falling apart.
i’m 24.
and it’s falling apart.
(this is just one day of a horrible pain. each day it’s something new.)
i somewhat blame smoking pot.
i’ve been smoking it for a few years now.
more heavily lately.
and i think when you’re high, it’s just. you feel nothing.
you’re not focused on the pain.
so i think since i’m more and more often used to feeling that way…that when i’m not high, it’s just. i can actually feel every little tiny pain in my body.
pot is obviously seen to some as a “not so bad” drug.
but it’s a lot worse than people think.
and it can be an addiction.
it may not be a physical craving type of addiction.
but it’s a prolonged one.
because once you start to do it often, you can’t really stop.
unless you want to feel daily pain.
which is why i think i abuse so many of my prescription drugs too.
i don’t want to smoke pot, because i feel like i need one pot free day.
but then my back up stoned feeling is my meds.
so kids.
don’t do drugs.
they’re just.
always going to catch up to you.
you really don’t understand how cartoons have all those little floating stars around their heads, until you are actually seeing stars.
an exaggeration on the cartoons part, as stars don’t actually fly around your head.
but boy does it ever feel like it.
today, i had this very strange eyeball pain.
just one eye.
and not like a scratch on the outside.
my actual eyeball, sort of the back of it.
people kept saying “maybe you have something in it.”
gah!
it’s not like that.
it was almost like a migraine at the back of my eye.
(i’m extremely prone to migraines).
well. i was planning to take one of the pain killers my doctor gave me for my migraines while i was at work. but.
i forgot them at home.
soo…
i thought, okay i have my muscle relaxants with me.
i’ll just take one of those.
since, when i’m at home, i tend to abuse them sometimes.
and they never really do anything for me.
well.
bad idea.
which, for some reason i was in complete denial that it wasn’t going to do anything bad.
i was so dizzy after that.
each time i had to even blink i thought my eyes would never open again and that they would be glued shut.
so my boyfriend came to take me home.
because, there was no way i could look at my computer screen any longer.
(i’m a graphic designer so i don’t have an option.)
i know it’s nothing serious with my eye.
because i JUST got my cat scan results and they came back “perfect” in their words.
my body is just.
falling apart.
i’m 24.
and it’s falling apart.
(this is just one day of a horrible pain. each day it’s something new.)
i somewhat blame smoking pot.
i’ve been smoking it for a few years now.
more heavily lately.
and i think when you’re high, it’s just. you feel nothing.
you’re not focused on the pain.
so i think since i’m more and more often used to feeling that way…that when i’m not high, it’s just. i can actually feel every little tiny pain in my body.
pot is obviously seen to some as a “not so bad” drug.
but it’s a lot worse than people think.
and it can be an addiction.
it may not be a physical craving type of addiction.
but it’s a prolonged one.
because once you start to do it often, you can’t really stop.
unless you want to feel daily pain.
which is why i think i abuse so many of my prescription drugs too.
i don’t want to smoke pot, because i feel like i need one pot free day.
but then my back up stoned feeling is my meds.
so kids.
don’t do drugs.
they’re just.
always going to catch up to you.