My Weight Loss Journal {I am writing exacing what i eat and work out each day}

[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Aug 26: Idk the exact Cal's

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I really want to weight myself but i am doing it because i have noticed that not loosing weight triggers me to binge/purge because i am like i did all of that and i didn't loose any weight and then i just eat ans eat! So i am weighting my self every 3 days, i am going to hard very hard not to at least.

Hope you are all doing well:)

[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Aug 27:

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*I had the urge to binge but i didn't do it! I just went to bed...i think the only thing keeping me from over eating/ eating fattening things, is the fact that i don't know my weight and it's kind of driving me crazy cuz i really really want to know.And if i binge i will gain weight and never know how much i have lost so far.When i complete another day i can weight myself!

[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Aug 28:

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I am waiting alil bit to weight myself i dont know why but i am scared of what it might be!

Edit**I finally got the courage to get on the scale......that piece of carp kept changing numbers on me when i 1st got on it said 177! i was hell no!I have only been eating ****edit****!!!!! ****edit****nothing but ****edit****! so i got on again it said 174.5 and then again and it said 176.Why is this happening????? I am so pissed i could just binge[i keep thinking about it] but i am not this is all i have and i won't let it go!

goodnight:)

[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Aug 29:

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*My tummy does not feel so good.When i woke up it felt so tight! I feel like i ate to much yesterday! ****edit****...NEVER EVER AGAIN! eww i wanted to purge yesterday but hrs had passed and i knew it was going to be sooo sour!
mainly because some came on on its own[this always happens when i am done eating]...[i know gross] I got on the scale again today i think its broken it doesn't give me on answer and when i move it to another part of the bathroom floor the number changes and dramatically goes up! I am like what am i fatter in this part of the room??? Or could it be the cheap ass flooring i have? Is it lapsided? Or is it just my scale that needs new batterys? I guess i will never know.:confused:
I will keep updating throught out the day...

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Ps: I hate my scale no scratch that ...i hate myself...

[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Aug:30

I feel grate this morning:D, i woke up and had ****edit****. I have been thinking about the meals i will consume through out the day and my mom already told me we will be having lobster salad for dinner,I love it when i know in advance whats for dinner because if i know if we are going to have a dinner that sounds like it will have more Cal's and i know my mom will make me eat, ****edit****
I'll keep you posted, hope your having a beautiful day:)


Edit**what happened throughout the day-I felt wonderful at the beining of the day..it did not end so well..i ate ALOT!!

****edit**** I am soo fucking gross, I couldn't even trow it up up my mom was home..it sucked!But the scale is still the same..piece of shit!

[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Aug 31

Lets see how this goes today...needless to say my tummy hurts:(

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[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Sep1

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I didnt gain but i am still a fat fuck!!

[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Sep2

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[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Sep3

I have not gained nor lost i am so tried of looking at the same number on the scale and the same nasty body in the mirorr, i think i am just going to fast..but with my mom down my back about eating att the time i dont know how thats going to happen. All though :DI just thought about something....she might be leaveing on friday for the weekend on a trip!!! Yayy that would be alsome cuz then i could just fast with out having to worrie about looking sus;)

I hope she goes..I hope she goes..I hope she goes...:p


Edit***
I binged.. my tummy hurts and i hate myself..i hate my body and how it controls my school life my relationship with people and my relationship with my boyfriend. I can't be normal.I just want to be normal or feel normal.. i deserved that! why can't i have that?? It is so overwhelming to feel like this, to constantly have this on my mind...god please please help me:(

[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Did'nt write yesturday i dont know why i guess i forgot to... this is for

Sept 4

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[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

sept 5

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[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Sep6

i weighed myself this morning woohoo i lost!!

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6:20pm
i am soooo hungry i want to eat this whole bag of orange slices[candy] i want the sooo bad the whole thing omg..i keep reading the nutritional facts...i want them but they are bad for me!!