Strange ..

[catherinemelissa]

So, this is a little strange, but I was wondering if anyone has ben through something similar.

I used to be a cutter. I had cut for years, my favorite thing to use was a razor blade. The last time I had cut, was when I told my ex-boyfriend that I got really drunk and cheated on him. This was over three years ago. I think that was probably the worst (as in deepest and bloodiest) cutting experience I've had.

So here's the thing, I was just reading this forum, and I came to the realization, that I still self harm if I'm upset enough, but I don't cut anymore. I usually just pull my hair, hit my hands off of walls until they bruise or hit myself in the head.

Has anyone else thought they've "recovered" and then realized they never really did?

[neenna]

yeah, when I "recovered" for a year or more I used to pull my hair, bite the inside of my mouth and stuff like that, didnt think much of it either..
but it wasnt so often tho. I completely shut down emotionally, so I didnt feel much of anything.. figured that if I didnt get to be happy I couldnt fall down and be sad/whatever and so.. I wouldnt need to cut :P
stupid... and thats mostly why I started again, couldnt handle being "nothing", guess I need my ups and downs lol. x

[moon_light]

Yeah, when I stop cutting, I always find some other way to self harm. It could be starving or not taking my medications or breaking things, but it's always something. And the worst part is is that you don't realize what you're doing until it's too late. It's like you can't escape from it. Ugh.